Page 47 of Library of Forbidden Books

“Well, come inside, anyhow. You should at least get some rest,” Gemma said.

She led them to the kitchen and offered them soup and bread left over from supper. She made a pallet of blankets for Alice on an armchair in the living room, and she and Josef gave their bed to Helene, Derek, and Alexander, opting to sleep in the smaller bedroom themselves.

The cock’s crow woke them in the morning. At first, Helene and Alice could not make out where they were. Every morning at Moringen, they woke from dreams to discover they were still prisoners. But here, they woke to find their dream had come true.

They all sat together in the kitchen for breakfast. Gemma’s fingers played with Alexander’s the entire meal, his hands grasping and releasing her in a game that fascinated him.

“We lost our two boys a few years ago. It’s a wound that never heals. God wanted to teach us patience, but it’s a bitter lesson,” she said, delighting in Alexander’s gurgles and tugs. A few tears trickled down her cheeks.

“I’m so sorry,” Helene answered sincerely. She was very new to motherhood, but already the thought of losing Alexander was unbearable.

“Well,” Josef said after a while, “what are we going to do, Gemma?”

They looked at Alice with pained expressions.

Gemma sighed. “The Gestapo might come looking for you here, dear. But if we bring you to Josef’s cousin Sara, I think you’ll be safe. She doesn’t live far, just a few miles.”

Alice hugged her aunt. She would have rather stayed there at the farm, but she did not want to cause any more trouble.

“I’m just sorry that we’re all so afraid that our fear makes us doubt whether we should do the right thing,” Gemma said, wincing at the bones she felt protruding from her niece’s skin as she rubbed Alice’s back.

Derek cleared his throat. “Thank you very much for your hospitality last night and for breakfast. We should be heading back to Berlin. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.” He stood, and Helene handed Alexander to him. She gave Alice a tight hug.

“It won’t always be this way. Just stay strong. I hope we see each other again someday.”

Alice started to cry. Helene had been like a mother to her. She had taught her how to read and write and love books, and had shown her the strength she had inside.

“Thank you, Helene,” Alice whispered between her tears.

Alice, Josef, and Gemma walked the young family to the car. It was a hot morning, and storm clouds gathered against the distant mountains. Helene looked out the back window as the Mercedes left the dusty driveway of the farm.

“I hope things turn out all right for her,” she said, resting her hand on Derek’s leg.

“You’ve done all you could do. Well, a lot more, actually. We’ve all got to follow our destiny. God brings us together for a time, we try to do good for one another, then we go our separate ways.”

Helene wept softly. She would never have imagined that anything good could come out of the camp at Moringen. But she’d met Ruth, and Anna, and Alice, and many other women. In such an inhospitable place as the world was, crossing paths with a kindred spirit was like finding a gushing fountain in the middle of the desert.

Berlin had not changed as much as Helene had. The city was concentrated on preparations for the Olympics the following year. The Nazis had emptied out the poorest neighborhoods, were building the Olympic Village, and, along the way, were trying to clean up their public image. The newspapers no longer featured long diatribes against Jews, the inflammatory posters had been removed from public spaces, and everyone seemed intent on surviving in the new order. Helene got the feeling that the populace was trying to build something new on top of the cataclysmic ruins of all that had come before.

After her happy reunion with Kaiser, Helene had hunkered down for several weeks. She had not wanted to see anyone, not even her family, especially after hearing the news about her grandmother’s death.

Alexander and Derek were the center of her universe, the only things that mattered. Everything else about the world seemed mean, tainted, and dangerous. She was not even interested in books. Helene wondered if her vocation as a librarian was lost to her forever.

One morning when Derek was at work, there was a knock at the door. Helene peered through the peephole and saw Lena. She hesitated.

“Helene, I know you’re in there. Open up, you dunce!”

Helene’s heart skipped a beat. She had hidden away not only because of her appearance, but also because of the internal devastation she felt. After the initial euphoria at being released from Moringen, she started to feel the weight of everything the Nazis had taken from her. Only shards of her dignity remained, and she did not have the strength to piece them back together.

After a long pause, she opened the door just a crack. Kaiser peeked his head out and Lena poked hers in. Her eyes grew wide, and she was speechless when she first beheld Helene. Her friend was a shadow of the strong woman Lena had always followed.

Helene dropped her eyes, and Lena entered the apartment slowly, fearful that a sudden move would scare Helene away for good. She shut the door gently, then held out her open hands. Helene took them, then they embraced and wept together.

“I’m so, so sorry,” Lena whispered into the thin hair that was now about an inch long. How Lena wished she had been the one taken instead of Helene.

“C’est la vie. But I brought home a beautiful baby from Moringen, and, ironically, the camp helped me discover what I’m made of.”

They went to the kitchen to make tea, just like in the old days. The scents of pastries and a strong brew filled the air. They sat at the window looking out on the Pariser Platz, and it felt like no time at all had passed.