Page 64 of I Hope This Email Finds You in Hell

“I don’t think you’re the bad guy for prioritizing survival,” Luke says. After a brief hesitation, he adds, “If it makes you feel better, I think the veil is torn because of me.”

I blink at him. “The veil between the overworld and underworld? The one Beliar supposedly wants to sacrifice Krystal to rip completely and make literal hell on earth? That veil?”

Luke nods grimly. “The one and only. You asked about my brother’s betrayal, and here it is. I didn’t want to leave hell. Maybe I should have, because now that I’m back, I see how truly awful it is, but it was home. Once I made the deal to ensure my family’s protection, I didn’t care about the overworld. But my brother never forgave me, and things between us got worse and worse until he did the unthinkable—got me kicked out.”

“Of hell?”

“It’s not easy, but there are ways. Loopholes, like with everything else. But I think that’s where things went wrong. Letting someone pass between worlds involves a lot of paperwork and proper documentation. It’s like a backward exorcism. When done incorrectly, it messes with the fragile balance between worlds. Think of the veil like the ozone layer. The more things disrupt the balance, the larger the tears get, until it’s torn wide open. A sacrifice like the one Beliar’s planning would be enough to tip the scales. But my brother getting me sent to the overworld might have been enough to start the rip. I wasn’t sure before, but I am now.”

I shiver. “So what happened? You just…appeared in the overworld?”

“In Silicon Valley.” Luke nods. “I was disoriented and furious and had nothing except for these blades. I’d taken his as soon as I realized what he was doing. I knew I could get back to hell if I could get to the station in New York, but getting to New York was a three-thousand-mile cross-country endeavor. I had no car, no food, nothing. Still, I started the trek and made it pretty far off pure spite.”

I can’t help the laugh that escapes. “Here we both were, running to New York. Why’d you stop in Tarrentown?”

“I stopped all over. I did get a car, illegally, and relied on odd jobs for money and the kindness of strangers for food. That’s where things shifted.”

“How so?”

“People were nice.” His brow creases, like this still boggles him. “I started seeing the overworld in a different light. Something to protect. Even before the veil tore, I knew some demons and monsters lurked there, having made it their home by other means. Most live normal lives, but others cause mayhem and misery.

“Along my travels to New York, I started hunting demons that were making trouble. If you know what to look for, like a string of gruesome deaths or people suddenly acting very strange, they’re easy to find. Hunting them came naturally to me. And honestly? It felt good to send them back after spending so much of my life terrorized by them. It didn’t take a deal to be powerful or safe. I no longer needed to hide.”

“I bet that was freeing,” I mention.

“Very. I had an instinct for finding them, and it led me to Tarrentown. I’d been hunting the demon possessing Debra for a while, but it was a slippery fucker. When I narrowed it down to an employee at Curated Care, I honestly thought it was the old boss. I applied for the position, got an interview, and was going to exorcise him there. I always do a few tests, like throw salt or burn sage, and he didn’t react to either. But he liked me, and it clicked that maybe getting a real job for a little bit wouldn’t be the worst thing. I had gotten forged documents back in Vegas and had enough money saved up to rent that house. It was far enough away for me to take care of business without meddling neighbors when I finally did sniff out the demon.”

“What gave it away that it was Debra?”

He scowls. “Her work sucked. The old boss had talked her up as one of the best, but most things that landed on my desk barely had punctuation. I knew you were having issues with her sending the reports. I did my tests and she failed every one.”

I knew Debra had been acting off. I wonder how long it would have gone on for if Luke hadn’t been there. Maybe she would have tried to eat me at the upcoming holiday party.

“So needing to perform an exorcism in your office wasn’t part of the plan?” I assume.

“It wasn’t ideal, but I figured waiting for everyone to go home was a safe bet. Clearly a huge oversight on my part.” He gives me a knowing look.

I raise my tear-damp sleeves in innocence. “Last time I ever try to work after clocking out.”

Some of the amusement fades from his face. “Maybe it’s for the best. If you hadn’t walked in on that exorcism, there’s a real chance Beliar would have gotten you. I didn’t suspect his arrival until Krystal went missing and it all started adding up. That was my first tip-off that something was wrong. I knew Beliar had been in the underworld, so to get to the overworld, that meant one of two things—there was a tear in the veil, or someone sent him after me.”

“There it is.” I point at him. “The hero complex. You think this is your fault and that’s why you jumped at the chance to rescue them.”

He side-eyes me. “It probably is my fault. Beliar ending up in the same town as me was definitely not a coincidence. And, like I said, I was making my way back here anyway. It was only a matter of time.”

I frown as something very real hits me. “You’re not coming back to the overworld after we save Krystal and the others, are you?”

His eyes focus back on the road. “Whatever’s wrong with the veil should have been fixed by now. This is bigger than my brother and me, or Beliar, or Krystal.”

“Maybe something’s up at Hell Headquarters,” I suggest, trying to bring some levity to what’s otherwise a horribly dire situation. Stopping Beliar and saving Krystal is one thing. But putting a Band-Aid on a gun wound isn’t going to stop a patient from bleeding out.

Luke nods. “Unfortunately, I think so.”

“I know now why you really let me join you. Of course, I’d love to think it’s for my pleasant company.”

He gives me a look that’s equal parts playful and honest. “More pleasant than I expected.”

I don’t let the words deter me, though they feel like a warm chocolate chip cookie fresh out of the oven. “You want me to bring Krystal and the others back to the overworld once we save them from Beliar. But you’re not coming with us. You’re planning to go all the way to Hell Headquarters and fix the veil.”