Page 34 of An Immaculate Deception

“Don’t come any closer.” He speaks without turning around.

“I-I apologize,” I stammer, unsure what I am apologizing for. I feel foolish. My voice sounds nervous and out of place. What makes me think he even wants me here? “I don’t mean to disturb you, it is only that I…couldn’t sleep. I had troubled dreams.”

What a flimsy explanation for why I came here, having gone to such lengths to find him in the middle of the night.

“Your dreams are a window into your subconscious,” he says. His voice sounds deeper than it was last night. “What did you dream?”

“I don’t remember.”

He is still. I bite the corner of my lip.

“This is not your mother’s house or your church,” he says, still not turning around. “This is not a place where you pretend to be someone else. This is a sacred place, a place where you become your true self. You have no need to lie here. So speak the truth. What did you dream?”

“I dreamed that a beast came to my bedside.”

“A beast?”

“Like a demon from the underworld. It had reptilian scales, a forked tail, claws, lidless eyes.” I pause. “It climbed into bed with me.”

“Were you afraid?”

“No…” I pause. “I welcomed it.”

At this, he finally rises to his feet. He turns around and regards me. I feel the beam of his gaze, appraising me.

“Come forth.”

I feel as though I’ve passed a test. Perhaps the test was simply to tell the truth.

I step toward the center of the room, the ring of fire encircling the pentagram. My eyes are drawn to the radiant blaze, while the edges of the room are indiscernible, dark and fluid. In my peripheral vision, something moves deep in the shadows. I shift my attention away from the firelight and look where I thought I saw movement. But I can make out nothing but darkness. I must have imagined it.

I approach the flaming pentagram. I feel the warmth of the flames on my skin, and discern a faint scent of copal. From up close, I realize the pentagram covers a wider area than I thought. There are drawings carved between its straight lines, alchemical symbols of sulfur, salt, lead, and mercury. At the center, a kabbalistic cross bears a rose and an entwining serpent. I saw this pentagram in the book, two side by side, one with a circle around it and the other without. This pentagram has no circle around it.

From here I can also make out a table past the podium, shrouded in shadows. It lies beyond the light, where the flames cannot reach.

“What does it mean?” I ask. “The dream?”

His eyes shine like obsidian gems. “It means that you are ready.”

A frisson runs through my body.

He steps over to the podium. He picks up a golden dagger, which sat beside the large open book, and a cloth. I remember seeing a depiction of a golden dagger in the book. It was called a ceremonial dagger, said to be used to banish or invoke spirits.

“What is this?” I ask.

He steps around the torches, toward me. He’s carrying the dagger and the cloth.

“An invocation ritual.”

“What is that?”

He comes very close to me. I meet his eyes, and he watches me for a moment.

“The forces of the outside world have no power here,” he says. “They will fall away once you step into the flaming pentagram. You will then know yourself, and you will know your heart’s desire. That’s why you’ve come, isn’t it?”

Movement in the corner of my eye. I turn in the direction of it, but in the far-flung corners of the room there is only darkness.

“Are we alone here?” I ask.