Page 86 of Frost and Venom

It was true. There had been a wealth of regret in her brother’s voice. He hadn’t chosen his life. It was the only way he could survive. The only way Guadalupe could survive and keep her son. Fate—or the senator—had condemned them to a life of violence.

Harlow studied Wilder’s beloved face, inch by inch. He didn’t flinch away from her scrutiny. He had been condemned to that same life of violence. Was he a bad man? She didn’t believe he was. He had a strict code of honor, and he kept to it. He believed in it so much he’d made a bargain with Rainier, the only man he believed might best him in a hunt. That bargain had been to kill him if he ever imploded. What man did that? What man believed in honor to the point that he would ensure his own demise if he ever crossed a line?

“I love the way you look at me, Harlow,” Wilder murmured. “I’ve never had anyone ever look at me the way you do.”

“I love you,” Harlow murmured, meaning it. Deep down. Knowing it was the truth. He was it for her. “You’ll always be the one.”

“Marry me. My last name started out stained with blood, but I’ve spent a lifetime doing my best to remove that and replace it with honor. Marry me, mon rêve. Make me the happiest, proudest man in the world.”

She hadn’t expected a proposal. She’d never even dreamt of a proposal, but then, in her wildest fantasies, she had never imagined she would end up with Hawkin Wilder. On some level, she was aware his proposal in that moment was not just to secure their future, but to give her an anchor to hold on to when once again her life was slipping out of control. Her parents…She would never have a chance to reconcile anything with them.

“Yes. Yes, a thousand times.” She didn’t take time to think about it because she always overthought everything. This man stood with her in the worst moments. Sometimes in front of her. But always with her.

His smile lit up her world. He was beautiful to her. She knew he would forever steal her breath, just with the sight of him. With that smile. He made her laugh. Made her feel safe when all around her the world was imploding. This should have been one of the worst moments of her life, but he’d turned it into something beautiful.

Years earlier, she’d lost all hope of the senator and her mother changing their way of life. She had lost her family. She had given up hope of finding her brother or his mother. Somehow Wilder had brought those things into her life. She would never be able to see her mother and talk with her, try to understand her. She had always thought she didn’t feel anything for the senator, but she felt sorrow at his passing. She knew she wouldn’t have Salvadore or her parents, but at least she knew Salvadore was alive somewhere in the world. And she had Wilder.

“Salvadore told me he would never be able to have a woman. A family. It would be too dangerous for them. And for him. Even after Enrique Delgotto dies. He said more than anything he had wished for a family. He had Enrique growing up, and as long as he did as Enrique wanted and Guadalupe did as well, he could see his mother. They’re very close, but they can’t really see one another anymore.”

“Every child wants to have parents who love them. They want a safe environment. I have to admit I sympathize with your brother. I never believed I would have what you’ve given me. Believe me, more than anything, I intend to provide our children and you with a loving, healthy, very safe home. I know how privileged I am for the opportunity. As sad as it is, as much as I would want that for him, I don’t see a family in Salvadore’s future.”

She loved that Wilder wanted a family for her brother. She could hear the ring of truth in his voice. He so easily could have condemned Salvadore and his way of life, but he took into consideration, as she did, that Salvadore’s only other choice was death. If he wanted to live, just like if Guadalupe wanted to live, they had to comply with the cartel’s demands.

“There was such sadness in him. I felt that same sorrow in Guadalupe as well,” Harlow said. “The anguish was so heavy I wanted to cry for both of them. And maybe for me. But I knew after they left, their lives would be the same, but I had you. I’ll always have you.” That sorrow she felt for Guadalupe and Salvadore, she now felt at the loss of her parents, the weight of the loss crushing her. She clung to the fact that she had Wilder and her friends to help her figure out how she was feeling, to find a way to mourn them.

“We’ll make certain Guadalupe doesn’t feel alone,” Wilder assured. “She’s essentially part of our family, whether she wants to be or not. It won’t just be about her security, Harlow. We’ll find ways to include her.”

Harlow wanted that…but…“I’m not certain Guadalupe can allow herself to genuinely care for anyone other than Salvadore. I don’t blame her; she’s had to lead a double life since she was sixteen years old. I held myself apart for a long time, Wilder. Even from my friends. I didn’t know how to do anything else because that was how I survived. It was Zahra who saved me. She thinks I saved her, but it was really the other way around. Her family completely rejected her. She had a death sentence hanging over her, or she would have been forced to marry a man who was very vicious with women if they didn’t do exactly as he said. Then she escaped to what we both thought would be a safe haven, and the senator attacked her. But you know what? She was so resilient, so open to a real friendship with me, even after all of that. I saw her kindness and caring every day, and that helped me to open myself to the friends I have now. It’s still somewhat of a closed circle, and I struggle to show others my true self. Guadalupe has had far more years of hiding in plain sight than I have. It can be nearly impossible to share yourself after years of being closed off.”

“I’m well aware, sweetheart, but if we keep extending our hand to her, eventually she may trust us enough to take that hand. We just need to have patience and understanding.”

“Like you did with me.”

“Like I do with you,” he corrected. “You’re still having problems at times, Harlow. It’s natural. It will be for Guadalupe as well. We’ll get there eventually. You have reached a point where you trust your friends. You trust Rainier, Sam and Zale. Now you’ve let me in. She’ll get there too. We’ll do it together.”

She loved that about Wilder. He was willing to spend time making certain Guadalupe was comfortable with them. “I hope you’re right. I want her life to be so much happier. Not just to make up for what the senator did, but because she truly deserves to be surrounded by family and feel love every day.”

“I can guarantee if we have a baby, she won’t be able to resist being a grandmother. She risked her life to protect you from her own son. That has to tell you something about how she feels about you. She’s already protective of you. I think we’re halfway there.”

“She did, didn’t she?” Harlow said, hearing the wonder in her voice. Guadalupe had done that. She’d even put herself in front of what she thought was a gun in order to try to keep Harlow safe. “She really meant that, didn’t she?”

“I want to marry you immediately, Harlow. We can get the license today and plan whatever kind of wedding you’d like to have.”

She heard the one single note in his voice that made her very aware he wasn’t as confident of her as she would like him to be. “Love that idea,” she said readily. “Although you were the one who wanted the fairy tale, Wilder,” she reminded. “I’d like it small and intimate, but if you want to go big, we can do that. I’ll marry you any way you want it to happen.”

“Small and intimate it is. If I don’t ask Rainier’s permission to marry you, he’ll likely stop the wedding. If I do ask him, you know he’s going to get all pompous and insist on walking you down the aisle.”

“Sam already informed me that if any of us got married, he was walking us down the aisle,” she said. “Rainier can have it out with Sam.”

Wilder laughed. “As long as neither of them objects, we’re golden.”

“If they object, I’m kidnapping you, so be prepared,” she teased. “I’ll drive the getaway car. I’m a good driver, took a lot of racing courses as well as defensive driving. They won’t have a chance to stop us.”

She deliberately said the silliest thing she could think of to show him she would follow him anywhere. Go with him anywhere. She was fully committed, and he needed to know that without a doubt.

Wilder leaned into her, framed her face with his hands and kissed her. Thoroughly. He didn’t have to say the words aloud; she tasted love.

—