Page 53 of Cursebreaker

I touch my face, and my hand comes away wet with blood.

“Captain!” Gabriel calls out, jogging toward me from across the deck. His brows knit with concern as he steps in front of me, blocking my view of Titus. “Is it all right with you if I take a look at that?”

My chest squeezes, and I don’t know why at first, but I start to cry.

“Come on,” Gabriel says softly, leading me to the captain’s quarters. “Let’s get you fixed up.”

I want to say Thank you, but the words get caught in my throat.

“That’s got to hurt,” Gabriel says, propping open the door. “Pretty wicked scar, though, if you choose to keep it.”

I sniffle, trying to pull myself together. “Flynn kept his,” I say.

Gabriel pauses in the open doorway, a smile tugging at his stoic mouth. “He did.”

I follow him inside, resisting the urge to look back, even when I think I hear Titus’s voice, faint and groggy, calling my name.

I decide to keep the scars.

Gabriel stands in front of where I perch on the edge of the desk in the captain’s quarters. He doesn’t say a word as he heals the claw marks left by the siren’s talons, all but for the occasional “Is this all right?” as he touches my face with gentle, calloused hands. And when I cry, he wipes away my tears with a washcloth—no judgment, no questions.

I feel horrible about leaving him and the others behind the night that Will convinced me Gabriel was the Shifter. Especially when Gabriel has done nothing but prove his loyalty, time and time again.

How much of what I thought—what I felt—was because of Will’s influence? I try to piece together every moment I spent in his company. I think of how, in my early days at Bludgrave Manor, there were times that I questioned my feelings for Will—how when I was away from him, I could think clearly, but whenever he was near… it was as if I couldn’t bring myself to question him or his motives. All I wanted to do was lie beside him in the conservatory, surrounded by the flowers and the pixies, and tell him the stories of the Stars.

Was that me? Or was it Will?

It’s as if the harder I try to sort through it all, the harder it is to remember. So many of those memories seem blurry now. Many feel like I’m looking back on someone else’s life, hearing a story told from someone else’s perspective rather than my own. But some…

Some feel real.

Every time I kissed him—that feels real. But would I have wanted to kiss him if he’d never compelled me—never influenced my feelings for him?

The room is spinning again. The siren said Will had placed a bounty on me. She said there were spies everywhere. If a Shifter could pretend to be Sybil for who knows how many months, if Owen could transform into something as inconspicuous as a bird, then how am I to know when an Underling is nearby? They could be anywhere—as tiny as a firefly or as ordinary as an ant. They could be watching us right now.

I clench my teeth so hard I think I hear a crack.

A crease forms between Gabriel’s brows. “I’m almost done,” he says. “I can stop for a moment if—”

“No, it’s not you,” I say, blinking away tears. “I was just thinking—”

“I thought I saw smoke.”

I flick his forehead. He gives me another rare smile.

“We have to go back to the Red Island,” I say quietly. “We have to take Annie home before we go after the Helm. She’s been through enough.”

He wipes the blood from his hands on a damp washcloth. “I agree. We’re in need of provisions, anyway. We’re running low on food as it is, and—”

A quiet knock on the door causes me to flinch.

“Aster?” comes Titus’s lilting voice—soft and hesitant.

Gabriel’s expression is neutral, save the quirk of his brow. “Do you want me to send him away?”

Yes.

No.