Page 81 of D for Dead

Leave now, before it’s too late.

She couldn’t leave. She had to do this for the victims.

Hesitating in the doorway she glanced back at Sullivan. He met her eyes; gave a reassuring smile.

‘Can he come in?’

Shinnick looked at her, surprised. ‘It’s not advisable, Amy.’

‘I’ll feel more comfortable if he is here.’ She locked eyes with Sullivan again. ‘You okay with that?’

He paused for a second, before throwing down the magazine he’d picked up. ‘Sure. If it’s what you want.’

Shinnick shook his head, but didn’t argue. He directed Amy to a leather chair in the corner of the room. As she sat, Sullivan dropped onto one of the leather couches. He leaned forward, fingers laced, watching her as Shinnick spent a few minutes talking through the procedure, explaining he would use a progressive relaxation method.

She heard the doctor’s voice, but the words weren’t registering, the walls closing in.

I need to get out of here.

‘I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I have to go.’

Sullivan started to get up, stopping when Shinnick calmly raised a hand. His focus remained on Amy.

‘It is going to be okay, Amy. We’ll take it slow and steady, in your own time.’ When she paused and sucked in a breath, held it, he smiled reassuringly at her. ‘Why don’t you lie back and try to relax?’

Come on, Amy. You can do this.

‘I’ll try.’

She leant back in the chair, ordered herself to get a grip and bit her bottom lip anxiously as Shinnick spoke to her in that clear, calm voice of his, telling her to take a long deep breath and close her eyes.

She glanced one last time at Sullivan. His expression was impassive as he watched her. Following the doctor’s suggestion, she let her eyes shut, listened as he told her to relax her body, breathe deeply and feel her muscles loosen.

This time the words were registering but, despite breathing deeply, she found it hard to relax.

He told her to think of a place where she felt happy, safe; that he was going to count down from ten and with each number she would take a step closer to that place.

Amy thought of her childhood home, as Shinnick counted down, the wooden swing in the backyard. Although her limbs were growing heavy, she was conscious that she was trembling, could still hear her heart thumping. She wasn’t going under.

‘Seven, six, five, four, three–’

‘This isn’t working.’ Amy opened her eyes. ‘I’m still awake.’

‘Being under hypnotherapy isn’t the same as being unconscious,’ Shinnick explained patiently. ‘You will still be awake. Now, why don’t we try again?’

Amy closed her eyes, told herself to think back to the swing, to the backyard. This was stupid. Thinking about this stuff wasn’t going to help her remember anything. Maybe she couldn’t be hypnotised.

More like you don’t want to be hypnotised.

This time she allowed Shinnick to finish counting down.

‘I want you to use your powerful subconscious mind to imagine yourself in a long corridor. A corridor lined with doors. Each door has a number on it, a number referring to each year of your life. Imagine walking down the corridor.’

‘I can’t. I’m sorry. There’s just too much going on in my head. I’m sorry, it’s just not working.’

This time Amy started to get up. This was a stupid idea. She should never have come back here.

‘Please, Amy.’ Shinnick exchanged a look with Sullivan. Although he tried to mask it, she could see the frustration starting to show. ‘I need you to focus. Please try for me one more time.’