Page 42 of How to Start a Scandal

‘Was it forced?’ Lottie asked.

Violet abandoned the loose thread and shook her head. ‘No. I... I welcomed it.’

The rage fled from Lottie’s gaze and she gave a relieved sigh. ‘Then I am pleased to hear of the kiss. Especially of his restraint and respect.’ Lottie’s expression shifted to one of tenderness. ‘Might I guess, then, as to what has you in such a state?’

Violet tensed for Lottie’s assessment.

‘You do not feel worthy,’ Lottie said softly.

Hearing the words aloud made tears prickle anew in Violet’s eyes.

Lottie put a hand to Violet’s shoulder in comfort. ‘Come now, you needn’t worry over such things. You’re a clever woman with a sharp wit and you’re far too beautiful—’

‘Please.’ Violet gritted her teeth. ‘Please don’t placate me with such casual praises. If you genuinely wish for there to be honesty and trust between us, you cannot offer platitudes on my appearance.’

Lottie’s dark blue gaze searched Violet’s face. ‘I think I see a different person than the one who stares back at you in the mirror.’

Violet shifted her focus to the interlacing vines woven into the carpet. ‘I’m well aware of my deficiencies.’

‘Deficiencies?’ Lottie repeated as though she found the statement incredulous. ‘Why do you feel this way?’

‘It is evident in this body, is it not?’ Violet hated the tears burning hot in her eyes and kept her gaze averted lest Lottie see them. She had already bared her soul once that day. What difference did a second make?

‘I try not to eat, but even when I deprive myself of all sustenance, I never manage to slim down. And I do try to limit myself, but it’s so hard.’ Her voice choked off. ‘What’s worse is that I love food. I think of it. Far too often.’

‘Of course you do when you’re starving yourself.’ Lottie put a hand to Violet’s arm. ‘Darling, you are lovely, truly. I would not say it if it wasn’t so.’ She pushed up to her feet and rang for a servant.

Violet squeezed her eyes shut, anticipating being escorted out at any moment.

Soon-to-be spinster remains in such a sorry state that a famous courtesan has rescinded her decision to offer instruction. And, yet again, soon-to-be spinster is an utter failure.

‘Bring me a mirror,’ Lottie demanded of the servant.

Violet lifted her head as the man returned moments later, carrying a large cheval-glass mirror. He set it soundly on the thick carpet, then promptly took his leave.

Lottie beckoned Violet with a wave of her hand. ‘Please do come here.’

Violet grimaced at what she knew she would be expected to do, then got to her feet and stood in front of the blasted thing.

‘What do you see?’ Lottie asked.

Violet’s reflection regarded her with a mournful gaze. ‘I see myself.’

‘What do you like?’

Violet considered herself in the mirror thoughtfully. She had spent so much time loathing the frumpiness of her body, she hadn’t taken the time to relish any positive attributes of herself. The turquoise gown she wore made her pale blue eyes stand out. She wore blue often because of her eye colour.

‘My eyes,’ she answered finally. ‘I like the colour.’

‘You have beautiful eyes,’ Lottie agreed. ‘And such thick, long lashes. I would give my eyeteeth for such lashes. Look again and tell me something else.’

Violet appraised her appearance and noted the smoothness of her skin. ‘My skin is very clear.’

‘It’s lovely. And what of your hair?’

Violet shrugged. ‘It’s brown.’

‘Oh, it’s more than brown.’ Lottie stretched a hand towards Violet’s curls and traced a graceful finger over the pinned locks. ‘There are gold tones and even red ones there, too. Did you know that?’