Page 60 of Deception of a Highlander

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Mariel did not fight the onslaught of guilt. She wallowed in it until the burden exacted the punishment befitting her tarnished soul. Her thoughts filled with the recollection of Blair’s gentle demeanor and Dougal’s sweet innocence.

He was so much like Jack.

Her heart flinched. Blair and Dougal were not the political refugees she had assumed them to be, and certainly, they were not men.

Armed with the knowledge of their history, she could easily guess the client who paid Aaron so handsomely for her to be sent on this assignment. Nor was there any doubt in her mind what Lord Hampton would do once he was reunited with his wife and son. Chills raced down her back despite the blazing heat of the fire.

Jack.

She drew a painful breath and held it as if the act could ease the ache of her heart. If there were an option between her life and his, she would gladly sacrifice herself. But to surrender a woman and child who had already endured such sadness and abuse—the option was as unthinkable as abandoning Jack.

If she kept their whereabouts unknown, she could save them all, but the cost…

She glanced miserably up at Kieran, and her breath caught. His naked torso rippled in the golden light of the fire. Water dripped from the tips of his hair and trailed down his powerful chest.

His eyes shone onyx in the firelight, and he gazed at her expectantly. Had he spoken?

Heat warmed her cold cheeks. “Did you say something?”

“Did ye get distracted by something?” A knowing smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

She wished she could smile, laugh the situation off as easily as his comment had been made. But she was hollow inside—a gilded box of dark secrets that housed everything worthless.

The grin slid from Kieran’s face, and he regarded her with an earnest expression. “I’m glad we have this time alone. There’s much I wish to say to ye.” He gave a tired sigh. “I introduced ye to Blair, and ye know what they’ve gone through.”

She flinched at his words. She knew all too well.

“That English bastard used her. He hurt her.” His jaw clenched. “I dinna want ye to come to Skye because I had promised them my protection.” He stepped closer, and his fingers trailed down Mariel’s jawline. The tender look in his eyes pierced her heart. “If I allowed myself to have ye and then forced ye away from Skye before we arrived, I’d be no better than him.” He softly spoke as if he were afraid of scaring her off. “I’ve no’ ever wanted to cause ye any hurt.”

His hand dropped away from her face. “But I did. I saw it in yer eyes and heard it in yer cry. And then I shunned ye when I was angry with myself.” He shook his head, his mouth set in a hard line.

Mariel watched him carefully, so consumed in her spiral of misery that it took a moment to realize what he spoke of. Last night. Her virginity. That moment seemed a world away, her shame and humiliation so insignificant to the precipice she stood before now.

“Kieran, you could never be like Blair’s husband. This pain I feel, it’s not anything you’ve done, it’s…” she tapered off, unsure of what to say, of what she could say.

A look of confusion passed over his features, but he remained silent.

“I didn’t know all this would happen.” The last word caught in her throat, and a hot tear slid down her cheek. “Not that I knew what to expect when I came to Scotland, but it certainly wasn’t this. Or you.” She looked up at him, silently pleading for him to hear the hidden truth in what she said. “I never expected you to be a man so respected by his people. A man I could admire for his integrity. And Blair…I was so grievously wrong in my initial assumption. Looking back, there is no way I could have known and yet…”

Breathing became difficult as the pain in her chest intensified. “Kieran, how could you ever possibly forgive me?”

“Lass, it was a simple mistake. I harbor no resentment.” His thumb brushed her cheek where the tear had fallen. “Ye dinna need to be afraid of anything, especially no’ me.”

She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust him with her secret as he had trusted her with his.

“It’s…complicated,” she said.

He smirked. “I know complicated verra well.”

His arms came around her, pulling her into the strength of his embrace. The weight of his hand stroked the back of her head and threaded through her hair as the familiar spicy scent of him enveloped her. She tried to resist the tender touch, but his soothing caress did not relent until her head lay against the powerful expanse of his chest.

“I protect what’s mine, Mariel.” His voice rumbled against her cheek. “No one will hurt ye. No’ while I’m around.”

“There is so much you don’t know,” she murmured miserably against the cool skin of his chest. Yet she did not have the courage to tell him, even now.

She was not worthy of the comfort he offered.