Page 110 of Highland Spy

Ariana shook her head. “You don’t have to—”

“I want to.” Liv’s voice was firm. “When I lost the baby, I confess, I wanted to die too. I’d lost everything. My betrothed, the child we’d made together, my parents, my reputation, my life at court. I had nothing.”

The small gray and white kitten wiggled her bottom and lunged at the abandoned bit of string with zeal, her little needle-like nails drawn like daggers.

A smile warmed the sorrow from Liv’s face, shining through her tears.

“One morning, I woke and found this little girl curled up on my stomach.” Liv stroked the small kitten. “Right where my sweet child had been.”

Ariana’s heart gave a hard, wrenching beat.

Liv lifted the cat to her chest and kissed the downy fur of her head. “It was her who got me through this fortnight. Her and Percy. And you.”

Ariana swallowed against the tightness in her throat. “Me?”

“Percy healed me. She sat by my bedside night and day and held a rag to my head as diligently as even my own mother had.” Liv squeezed Ariana’s hand. “She healed me. And you gave me strength. I know something horrible must have happened for you to end up here, and yet you never appeared anything less than strong to me. I wanted that same determination.” The color in Liv’s cheeks darkened. “I wanted to be like you.”

Tears tingled in Ariana’s eyes and her protest balled up tight in her throat.

In the time she’d been gone, she’d killed a man—a man who had been buried in the woods, who may or may not have had a family, who may or may not be missed by ones who loved him. She’d given away her virginity to a man who now wanted only to ensure no one knew of their tryst. She’d helped a woman murder her husband and his lover, and used the lover’s corpse to make others assume the king’s cousin was dead.

Ariana might have just moments before reveled in the power she had over her own emotions, but she was no woman to admire.

Shame cast its shadow over what would otherwise have been pride.

She gave a weak smile and suddenly wished she could shield herself from her friend as easily as she’d done with Connor.

“I’ve named her Fianna, if you don’t mind,” Liv said with a sheepish grin.

Ariana had fallen too deep into the dark spiral of her own thoughts. “What?”

Liv stroked a fingertip over the cat’s small head. “The kitten. I’ve named her Fianna. I had a dream you’d given her to me and, when I woke, I couldn’t remember if it’d been real or not. I wanted to be sure you liked the name, just in case.”

Ariana had indeed settled the small animal in the rumpled sheets of her friend’s bed. She’d hoped they’d find camaraderie with one another, and it appeared they had. Warmth blossomed over the ache in Ariana’s chest.

“It’s a beautiful name,” she said softly.

She released her hand from Liv’s. Their palms had begun to sweat against one another, and the absence of heat left Ariana’s skin clammy. “The hour is late.”

Liv gave a slow nod and settled a kiss on the sleeping kitten. “I’m sure you’re tired.” She rose with Fianna in her arms, cradled like a babe. “Will you train with me tomorrow?”

“Nothing would give me greater joy.” Ariana couldn’t help the smile spreading over her face.

She would, of course, be gentle—the way Delilah had been when she’d given Ariana instruction.

Weariness drew at Ariana’s eyelids and left her limbs feeling heavy. She slid into bed and reveled in the cool slide of familiar sheets against her skin.

But despite the embracing comfort of the stuffed mattress beneath her, her mind remained agitated by memories—Connor asking her not to say anything to the other women, Connor still expecting her to be with him, tempting her with the promise in his stare and the fierceness of his kiss.

For the countless time, angry thoughts tumbled through her mind and careened into everything calm.

She wasn’t hurting from a lack of affection.

No, she was used to that.

Her fingers curled into fists.

She was angry.