Page 61 of Highland Spy

“That isna necessary.”

She pulled her gaze from the kitten and looked up at Connor. “Then let me come with you.”

His jaw flexed. “Ye know why I hesitate.”

Her heart fluttered a little faster.

Because he cared.

About her.

“Then it’s all the more reason to let me come,” she said gently. “If you truly care for me, you will let me join you. We can work together.”

He went silent, and she turned her attention to the sleeping cat to keep the awkward tightness from growing between them.

“If I let ye come, we canna do this again.”

Her cheeks burned.

She knew what he meant by “this.”

“Ariana, I’m no’ a man like those ye knew at court. I dinna have that kind of freedom. There’s just too much at risk. I’m no’…”

“You’re not what?” she pressed. But she didn’t have to look up to know his silence was all the answer she’d get.

And she wasn’t about to beg.

She could only guess what he’d been about to say—that he wasn’t willing to take the chance of ruining the freedoms he did have for her.

“I understand,” she said.

And truly she did. She’d been in her own dire circumstances before, with her own fears and her own calculated risks. He was right. She didn’t know about what freedoms he had or didn’t have.

He had mentioned a sister once, and there was much more below the surface than he’d said. It was in his eyes when he’d lowered his guard enough for her to see the pain there, like the day he’d fought with Sylvi.

Ariana didn’t know much more about him than the little bit he’d shared.

“I understand,” she said again, and looked up at him. “And if that is your condition, then I accept.”

He nodded, his face achingly unreadable. “We will ride out at dawn then, once we’ve slept and eaten. But yer new friend will need to remain at Kindrochit, aye?”

Ariana stroked the warm gray fur. “I’m sure she won’t mind. Mind if I keep her in the castle? I’ve just the thing in mind for her.”

“Aye, ye can keep her here.” Connor stared down at her for a long time, as if he meant to say something else. A quiet intimacy hovered in the silence, or perhaps it was restraint.

“Sleep well,” Ariana said, and departed the room before he could reply.

She strode up the stairs with the small sleeping kitten cradled in a warm, soothing ball at her breast.

Connor had agreed to let her come.

Her heart thumped in her chest—with excitement for the upcoming mission, with the memory of his hot and hungry kisses, with the fear of never experiencing them again.

But she’d made a promise.

And she would not be his undoing.

• • •