Page 114 of Cackle

Another text. I bought myself so much chocolate LOL.

My resentment begins to fade.

I made myself cake, I say. I send her a picture.

OMG!! Amazing!

Ralph does a little burp. It appears he’s vomited up some cricket guts. Now he’s eating the vomit.

I take my phone into the bedroom, sit on the window bench and stare out at the empty street.

What’s new with u? Nadia asks. Miss u!

I guess it is kind of nice not to be totally alone tonight. To be catching up with a friend.

Not much, I tell her. How about you?

Just started dating someone! Really excited about him!!

Nope. Never mind. No, thanks. I can’t handle hearing about someone else’s happiness. I know it’s shameful, but I just can’t.

Remember I told u about the hot history teacher Mr. Collins? He’s out of town right now, but we’ve been hanging out a lot & I was thinking of u because remember that psychic we went to on your bday?

I watch the little ellipses as she types another message. Is there anything more dread inducing in this world than those fucking ellipses?

That psychic said I was going to meet the love of my life and his name wasn’t going to be his name, and Ben’s real name is Winston but his dad is also Winston, so they call him by his middle name, Benjamin. Weird right?

I can’t.

There’s more, she types.

Of course there’s more.

He’s from Miami and says he’ll probably move back there when he’s finished with his master’s. But he said he’s also got family in San Diego and it’s nice there, too.

She’s still typing.

It’s exactly what that psychic said to me. That I’m going to move somewhere warm like California or Florida. There are other warm places but she wasn’t like u might move to New Mexico or whatever.

I press my head against the window, smoosh my forehead into the cool glass.

Crazy right??? Imagine if I end up with him & that psychic was right about everything.

I let the phone fall from my hand. I close my eyes.

Nadia either doesn’t remember what the psychic said to me or doesn’t care.

Imagine if the psychic was right. Right about everything. About my bleak, ambiguous fate.

I sense a darkness. That’s what the psychic said to me all those months ago.

I didn’t need her to tell me. I sensed it then. I sense it now.

How could I not?

I sit in its palm.

I open my eyes, and there’s nothing but black.