Page 123 of Midnight Curfew

Not Iron so much since he came home, though. It still feels like I’m on my own.

Mason Gentry uncaps his water bottle, chiming in, “When is it not nice?”

Like when you’re bored but too scared to change things. Adult decisions are like jumping out of a plane. Once you leap, there’s nothing to do but wait and see if the chute opens.

That’s too heavy for a high school philosophy course, though.

“We talked about freedom last week.” I drift around the room, ignoring his question. “You’re thirty. Free from school. Free from your parents. Free from being a child,” I state their hypothetical. “You can drink, smoke, do drugs, stay out late, sleep with who you want…Are you free?”

“No one’s telling us what to do,” Daisy Martinez offers.

“You’re stranded on an island,” Ginny fires back. “No one’s telling you what to do there, either. You’re not free, though, because you don’t have choices.”

“You don’t have the choices you want,” Atlas interjects. “Like where you’re getting takeout from that night. But there’s also no demands on your time, either.”

Are we free if we have no responsibilities?

Anna-Katherine hops up on the windowsill, her right foot tucked under her left leg, a notebook and pencil on her thigh.

I steer the conversation, looking at Ginny. “Why do you like to get up early?”

She shrugs, her blond ponytail swaying a little. “I like having the house to myself.”

I tip my chin at Whitney. “Why do you stay up late?”

“No one’s bothering me to do things.”

So they both make a different decision for the same reason. They want to be left alone.

Digging in a little more, I turn my gaze to Ginny again. “What’s a consequence of getting up late?”

“I’ll be behind on my day.”

Then to Whitney, “What’s a consequence of going to bed early?”

She smiles. “I’ll miss the fun.”

Atlas joins in her laughter, and I start to piece together the difference in their motivations, but Mason speaks up. “So they’re both afraid, then.”

I look around Daisy to meet his eyes.

“Technically?” he asks. “They’re making decisions out of fear of consequences. That’s not freedom, right?”

Most decisions are made out of fear. We work for fear of poverty. We see doctors to solve health problems before they worsen. Army puts AirTags in Dex’s shoes to track him in case of an emergency. Does it mean we’re not free?

“Freedom is a legal term,” Sadie tells us. “We have the right to think and act of our own will, but we’re not free from consequences or responsibility.”

“I am,” Atlas says almost immediately. “A lot of people are. Do you have any idea how many cigarettes I smoke in these bathrooms and never suffer a consequence?”

But Sadie is quick to respond, “But why do you smoke?”

“Because I like it.”

“Did you smoke this morning?”

“Why, you want one?” he teases.

Everyone laughs, and I continue to walk, passing Anna-Katherine as I stroll to the back of the room.