Page 113 of Book Club Confidential

Tessa stepped forward, closing the gap between them and winding her arms around his narrow waist. She set her head against his chest. The last time she’d hugged her little brother, they’d been nearly the same height. Now, he was a grown man. No longer a child. Not a grieving teen or a hurting kid. He was a man in pain, struggling to prepare for the unthinkable while battling a demon larger than anything she could comprehend. “He’s going to be okay,” she whispered. “We’re going to be okay.”

His stifled sob splintered her heart into pieces. When his arms circled her and tightened, she embraced her role of big sister and held him tightly as he wept.

Tessa spent the rest of the day at the hospital. Thankfully, her dad was going to be just fine. A surgical complication had added to the length of the procedure, but they had no reason to believe he wouldn’t make a full and complete recovery.

Tessa’s heart had never been so full of gratitude.

Devin went to meet with his local AA sponsor, leaving her alone with their dad.

She held his thin hand in hers as he slept, unwilling to let go. His skin felt cool and soft where calluses had once seemed permanent. It wasn’t fair that life could be so fleeting. Or that they could argue about his diet one moment, then potentially face an eternity apart in the next.

“I love you, Daddy,” she whispered, feeling small and afraid, despite being a grown woman and knowing he was on the mend. “I’m so sorry I didn’t talk to you about your diet sooner.”

The familiar words of apology pulled her to a mental halt. This wasn’t her fault. Yes, she wished he hadn’t had a heart attack, but the guilt in her bones ran far deeper. And it didn’t make any sense.

She was a good daughter. One that toed the line and lightened his load every way she could. She’d been doing it all her life. A small puff of humorless laughter broke on her lips. She sat back in the chair, chasing the terrible epiphany.

As a child, she’d tried not to upset her dad, because her mom already had that in the bag. As a teen, she’d tried not to upset Alice for fear she might leave like her biological mom had. When Alice died, Tessa swallowed her grief to make room for Dad’s and Devin’s grief. She became the calendar keeper, grocery shopper, cook, and maid. She’d gotten perfect grades and scholarships to college, all while suffering silently. And she’d continued to worry about both men every day of her life.

None of that weight had been hers to carry. Why had Dad let her?

A flicker of anger presented itself, and she added one more revelation to the pile.

Even though she’d never admitted it, and she hated admitting it now, she was pissed at her father. He’d ignored her needs and turned away from her when she’d needed him. He was a good dad, but he’d messed up, and both things could be true at the same time.

It’d taken thirty-some years to bring the truth to the surface. Now, what would the heroine of her story do about it?

Two days later, she left her dad at the hospital for the final time. According to the doctors, Devin could take him home, and Tessa would soon have to tell her dad about the anger she’d carried all these years. She wasn’t looking forward to it. Every people-pleasing ounce of her said it wasn’t worth upsetting him. Look at how their last tough conversation turned out. Why not leave it alone?

Because healing doesn’t happen by ignoring the problem, she thought. And staying angry would only drive a wedge between them.

Chapter Thirty

Hallie’s rehearsal dinner was on Friday at seven o’clock in the grand ballroom of the Silver Lakes Country Club. Tessa rode with Kate to the event. Hallie rode with her mama.

“Did you ever get drinks with the bar guy?” Tessa asked.

Kate pulled her Tesla into the valet line and smiled. “Yes.”

“And?”

“Sam is amazing. We met at Fox and Hound, then had dinner at Chez Margot, where we talked for hours. They finally gave us a bottle of wine and two desserts to go, so they could close.” She laughed. “We took the gifts to the river and finished there. When I told him about the Lumineers in concert, he pulled up his favorite of their songs on his phone, and we danced under the stars. Guess what else?”

The valet appeared, and Kate climbed out. She wore an orange top with long puffy iridescent sleeves and chic wide-legged black pants and heels. Her blond hair hung loose over her shoulders, and her eye makeup had a slight shimmer in the lamplight.

Tessa met her on the sidewalk. “What else?”

Kate linked one of her arms with one of Tessa’s. “He was at that concert too.”

“No way.”

Kate nodded. “He went with his sister and some of her friends. They had an extra ticket, and he joined them last minute. We could’ve been standing in line together and never known it.”

“Aw.” Tessa pressed a hand to her chest. “I love that.”

“Me too,” Kate said. “It made me wonder how many times we’ve passed on a street in town or been eating at the same restaurant without noticing one another.”

“You really like him,” Tessa said.