Page 12 of Book Club Confidential

She let the tension in her shoulders ease, thankful there wasn’t anything to worry about. “I’ll come to visit again as soon as I can.”

“I hoped you’d say that,” he said. His tone shifted slightly, and her concern returned.

“Did you have something in mind?”

He chuckled, and the sound should’ve warmed her. Her instincts, however, told her something bigger was going on. “How about I make dinner soon?” he suggested. “You can stop by and spend a little time.”

Tessa sat taller, swinging her feet back onto the floor. “Okay. That sounds nice.”

“Excellent,” he said.

“Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“Is there something else going on?” Something about the entire call didn’t sit right, as if he held a bomb she couldn’t see, waiting for the right time to drop it.

She willed him not to be sick. He had high cholesterol and took blood pressure medication. He was sixty-two and still working a factory job. She couldn’t lose another parent. Not for at least another hundred years or more. “You would tell me if something was wrong, right?”

“Of course. No, nothing’s wrong,” he responded quickly, emphatically. “Things are going very well. In fact—”

Her breath caught. She imagined him releasing the bomb.

“Devin’s home. He showed up last night, and I think it would be nice to get the family back together again. We’ve spent the whole day talking, and I want to share a meal with you both like old times. We can all catch up on everything we’ve missed in one another’s lives.”

Tessa’s jaw clenched. There it was.

Boom! She thought. Pow!

Her stepbrother, Devin, had returned, and historically that was not good news. He had a kind, tender heart, and a lifetime of emotional trauma he’d never dealt with, so it pulled him under like quicksand over and over. He’d fallen into a routine these last few years of disappearing, wallowing in unresolved misery, inflicting more damage on himself, his health, his credit, whatever, then returning home to lick his wounds when he realized he couldn’t go on that way. He never did the work to process his pain and heal. He only took breaks, let their dad hope for a different outcome, then left them in a whirlwind of chaos, wherein Tessa would spend weeks helping their dad through the loss.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

“Tess?” her dad asked. “You still there?”

“Yeah, Dad. I’m still here.” She was always there. She was steadfast, because Devin wasn’t.

“You’ll come to dinner this week?” he asked. “You can pick the day.”

“I’ll check my calendar and let you know,” she said. “Did Devin mention how long he’s staying?” With a little luck, her brother would disappear before she had a free evening. Then she could avoid seeing him without being the woman who refused to see her troubled brother. The situation was just so—shit.

“Uhh,” her dad drew out the little sound for several beats.

Tessa’s stomach knotted and ached. “Dad?”

“That’s the thing,” he said. “Devin lost his job in Albuquerque, so he’s sticking around here until he can get his feet under him again.”

She covered her mouth with one hand, processing the words, predicting the inevitable pain. Their dad wasn’t the only one Devin hurt when he took off. Knowing he was out there without a support system. Drinking, using drugs. Experiencing homelessness and food insecurity when he lost his job or ran out of money. She hated it, and it would’ve broken her years ago, if she didn’t have their dad to think about.

Devin’s mom died a few years after their parents married. He was only twelve, Tessa sixteen. Devin had spiraled, like a freight train in a tornado, and it had unraveled what was left of their family.

It’d taken her years of therapy to work through how she’d felt both relieved to go away to college and escape the cycle of heartbreak and chaos, and also incredibly guilty for leaving her dad to manage it all on his own.

Two things can be true at once, she reminded herself. Those words had gotten her through the toughest years. She could love Devin but hate the way he lived. She could want to please her dad but be angry with him for asking her to pretend everything was fine.

Her eyes misted with frustration tears. This was her night to be happy. Old, unhealthy family habits couldn’t ruin it for her. Devin’s issues would be there tomorrow when she had the bandwidth to deal with them.

“You know what,” Tessa said abruptly. “I am so sorry to do this, but work is calling, and I have to answer, but I’ll get in touch with you tomorrow, okay?”