Page 90 of A Troublesome Circumstance

Her heart was at war with itself—one side insisting she should scold him thoroughly for deceiving her, the other aching for the easy warmth they once shared.

Jude cleared his throat. “It is… a lovely day we are having.”

The weather. Safe. Predictable. Impersonal.

She lifted her chin. “Surely we can discuss something else—something of more importance.”

There.

She had said it.

He chuckled. “My apologies. I find that I am rather nervous around you.”

Her brows lifted. “Why are you nervous?”

“I am… not entirely certain. I have never been uneasy around young women before.” He offered a helpless smile. “But there is something about you.”

She decided to pry—just a little. “Were you not nervous around Lady Gwendolyn?”

His humor vanished from his expression. “Not particularly, no. She played her act well. She always knew precisely what to say to put me at ease.”

“Why do you say she played a part?”

He shifted, rubbing his thumb along his glove. “I overheard her bragging to some of her friends… boasting that she had ‘ensnared’ me—the heir to a dukedom.”

“Oh.” Josephine’s chest tightened. “I am sorry, Jude.”

“You have no reason to apologize,” he said. “I fancied myself in love with her.”

“Were you?” she prodded.

He shook his head. “No. I think I wanted to be in love with her. She was everything I thought I wanted in a wife.”

She tilted her head. “What do you want in a wife?”

He met her gaze squarely. “Someone who sees me for who I am. Not what I can give them.”

“That is entirely fair.”

Looking down at his hands, he said, “My whole life, I have had to question friendships and wonder if people truly cared for me.”

Her heart stirred with an aching sympathy blooming within her. “That is a sad way to live.”

“It is all I know,” he murmured. “But then you came along. You thought me a gamekeeper, and yet you treated me no differently than how you treated Luca. With kindness. Respect.”

“You did save my life,” she reminded.

He huffed. “It was more than that. I miss our easy friendship—the one we had at the cottage.”

She released a quiet sigh. “I miss it, too. But I do not know if it is possible to return to that.”

“Why not?”

“Well… you are you,” she said, gesturing inelegantly at him, “and I am me.”

He gave a boyish smile. “I happen to like you.”

She made a face. “Be serious.”