Page 32 of White Raven

“You’ll have to tie me up and carry me again, because I am not leaving here without one.” By the slowness of his movements, the sweat beading at his temple, he was suffering more from the drugs than he let on. Carrying me would deplete any energy he had.

The same muscle in his jaw twitched and he huffed through his nose. “If you use that on me . . .”

“You’ll chop off my hair, I get it.” After what had happened, I realized how silly it was of me to fuss about him cutting off my hair. It was hair. It would grow back.

But the knife . . . that would eventually be used to get away, to kill him if I had to.

“No, kanin.” He pressed his body into mine, leering down at me. “I will cut off your hands.”

The house felt eerily alive when we reached the main floor, as if the man would return at any moment. The room held a ghostly feel, a grief for the lives of those who were not heard, whose bodies were in jars in the basement.

“You learn to adjust what’s on the menu. Until you crave it. Salivate for it. Want that more than anything else.”

The fire in the hearth crackled and popped, the table still set with our dishes, everything looking exactly how we left it. Along with the pot of stew on the table.

“That was the last of the livestock.”

“Can’t waste the opportunity when livestock walks straight through your door.”

Somewhere in the back of my brain I had already put the pieces together, but his words snapped them into place. The pieces of meat I had swallowed down. The rush of sickness punched me over, gagging, a whimper strangling my throat, realizing what had been in the soup.

Raven flesh.

Spitting and scraping at my tongue, I could feel my skin crawl, feeling the trace of Raven meat festering there, the little pieces that slipped down my throat and rotted in my stomach. Panic stole my breath, making my actions more hysterical. I needed it out of my body. Needed to purge every last speck of what he had fed me.

“Stop it.” The Night Raven seized my wrists, holding them away as I tried to vomit up anything left. “We don’t have time for this.”

“This was from a victim, wasn’t it?” I gestured at the bodice I was wearing. I knew the answer, but it became more real when his head dipped in an affirmative. “There are so many outfits in there.” I peered back toward the room with the clothes. “Children’s clothes . . .” I hiccuped, gasping for oxygen. “How can someone do that?”

“Desperation to survive strips away societal norms or morality. You do what you need to do.”

“Do what you need to do?” I screeched. “He ate Raven flesh!”

“Technically, Ravens in history have been known in other realms to be cannibals.”

“What?” My attention snapped to him. “That’s a complete lie.”

“Not something they teach in your tutoring books, I’d gather, not really something people want to know, but it’s true. Don’t worry, kanin, I don’t think you’ll suddenly develop a craving to gnaw on my kidneys.”

I flinched, my stomach gurgling with queasiness.

He peered down at me, flames flickering off his face, his gaze stopping on my silver locks with a frown. “You need a cloak.”

I blinked at him. He grunted, stomping into the bedroom. It was only a moment before he returned with two cloaks and a pair of worn woman’s boots for me. “Take those useless things off and put these on.” He motioned to my flimsy bridal shoes, stained by the dirt and mud.

I shook my head, staring at the items with grief. A woman once wore them. She had a life, maybe kids and a husband, and now all that was left was shoes and clothes she used to own.

“You think that person cares anymore? Put them on.” He shoved the cloak at me, dropping the boots at my toes. “We need to go.”

I sucked in slow breaths, draping the cloak over my shoulders and slipping my feet into the sturdier boots. The cheap wool of the cloak itched my skin, the essence of the woman still clinging to it. I wanted to tear it off, run from the house, and purge the entire place from my mind.

While I was tying the laces, the Northerner’s hand darted out to seize the blade I put in the pocket of my skirt.

“What? No!” I sprang for it, trying to reclaim it. “You said⁠—”

His hand grabbed my throat, holding me in place, his expression hardening.

“So fucking gullible and naïve. You wouldn’t survive a day on your own out here, kanin.” His tone hard. “Did you really think I’d let you carry?” He pulled me in until his nose brushed mine. “Do not forget who you are to me. We are not friends or comrades. And I’m certainly not going to let you have a weapon to use against me. Especially this close to the border.”