Page 54 of Single Player

“Sure do.”

“I’ve been thinking about going into game programming in college,” she told him. “I’ve put together a few small games, you know, just simple stuff in C++, but I hope to get better at it. I’m trying to get a really good portfolio together before I apply next year.” She twisted her swag bag in her hands. “Do you love it? Is game programming everything you wanted it to be?”

Matthew considered the things he’d been worried about these past few weeks and almost laughed. “To tell you the truth, yeah, I love it. I sort of coasted for a while, but I’m digging back into it now and I’m having a lot of fun.” It was all true, too. The more he coded Endgame, the more he wanted to keep coding. The challenge was fun again.

The girl nodded.

“What’s your name, by the way?” Matthew asked.

“Jasmine,” she answered.

“Well, Jasmine,” he told her, “if you love games, it’s not bad to spend your whole life doing what you love.” He handed her his business card. “You know we’re based down in Florida, but I’ve got some industry contacts. If you need an internship down the line, look me up, all right?”

She took the card, grinning widely. “Thanks. This is awesome.”

“Have fun out there,” Matthew said, shaking her hand, and then Jasmine faded back into the crowd.

“Nice kid,” Isabel observed, rejoining him.

Matthew was still watching her go, remembering himself in high school, dreaming about his future programming career, the dream that was now his current job. He was pretty fucking lucky. And maybe, if this job came through, he’d be a technical manager with a new range of challenges ahead of him. The thought wasn’t as frightening as he’d suspected.

He watched idly as Jasmine joined up with her group a few booths over, jumping in to play a demo of some game, and then he scanned the expo floor. He hadn’t had much time to check everything out yet, not since setup last night, and he was looking forward to scoping out all the madness when his shift at the booth ended in a little while. DiceCon was a circus, a throng of geeks and gamers coming together for the shared love of the game. An unbidden image came to his mind of Silas there, rolling his eyes in amusement at Matthew’s enthusiasm, but then giving in, playing demos with him, excitedly recognizing the Diablo III logo on some merch, probably the only game he could identify. He missed Silas, had been checking his phone nonstop for twenty-four hours and feeling like an idiot every time he did.

Still no call. Which probably only meant one thing—they were over, for good.

He missed Silas so much he felt like he saw him in every tall, lean white guy who walked by, even if they didn’t have Silas’s tousled light brown hair. Scanning the crowd again, his gaze landed on one such person, and then—holy shit—the realization hit him so quickly that he dropped the iPad he was holding and had to scramble to catch it before it hit the convention center floor.

Silas approached him with wide, tentative eyes, his jaw set, his face a mask of yearning and nervousness, and Matthew could not even believe what he was seeing. He set the iPad down on the table behind him without looking, already stepping out of the booth, into the surging crowd. Silas stopped a few feet away from him, and Matthew stopped as well, the space between them charged with all the things left unsaid. He knew Isabel was probably watching them, but he had eyes only for this man in front of him, this man who had come to mean far more than he’d ever thought in the short weeks they’d been together.

“What are you doing here?” Matthew asked, trying to put all the pieces together, imagining the steps that led to Silas being here in front of him in Boston wearing a DiceCon badge.

“I got your message,” Silas said, his voice too quiet for the loud space, but Matthew could hear him over everyone. “I had to come.”

Matthew could feel himself smiling, the kind of smile that he couldn’t control, his face hurting with the effort to not look like a ridiculous loon. “You could have just called me back, you know. You didn’t have to fly over a thousand miles to see me.”

Silas was smiling, too, more tentative, but clearly encouraged by Matthew’s happiness. Matthew had forgotten the beauty of his eyes. “You’re the one who told me I should go on a spontaneous trip sometime.”

Matthew started laughing because, fuck, the happiness was too much to contain, and he couldn’t wait anymore, he just had to take those last few steps between them and kiss Silas like he had never kissed him before, like he might never get to kiss him again. Silas kissed him back, reaching up to cup Matthew’s head, his other hand clutching his hip, pulling them flush together. It was as exciting as the first time, uncontrolled and passionate, but with the experience of two people who had learned some things about each other and still wanted to be together, no matter what.

“Get a room!” came a loud voice near them, along with some catcalls and wolf whistles, and Matthew pulled away, remembering where they were and what was happening all around them.

“I’ve got . . .” He looked behind him at the booth, then at the clock. “I’m off in a half hour, I have to stay here, I can’t just go—”

Isabel walked into his line of view. “I texted Phil. He’s coming in for his shift early.” She waved her hands. “Get the hell out of here, you two. There’s a lounge on the northeast corner of the second floor, but the door doesn’t lock.” She winked at them.

Matthew gaped at her, last year’s DiceCon scavenger hunt coming back to him, but before he could say anything, she waved them away again. “Go. Phil’s five minutes away, I swear.”

Silas’s hand was warm in his as he tugged them both toward the exit.

Silas felt like he was in a dream as they crossed the passenger bridge to Matthew’s hotel, the cold air whipping around them both, stealing his breath. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back,” he said, the words tumbling out. “I was mad, and then I was hurt, and then I didn’t know how to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I don’t think you’re wasting your life, I swear.”

Matthew looked over at him, smiling like Silas hadn’t seen since the night when they were gaming. “Thanks. I don’t think you’re a neurotic workaholic.”

“Oh, I am, but I’m working on it,” Silas said, smiling back. He stopped in the middle of the bridge, dragging Matthew to a halt as well. It was freezing, but he had to say this before they went any farther. “I need you to know. I need you to believe me that I’m okay with your job. I don’t want you to do something else. I’m sorry I asked that of you. I was projecting my own guilt onto you and that wasn’t fair.”

Matthew nodded, and while he was still smiling, it had turned wistful. “Silas, I didn’t want to tell you, but I’ve been feeling guilty since the night we first slept together. You’re so smart and your work matters so much, and I’ve been feeling like a complete slacker next to you.”

“You aren’t—” Silas began, but Matthew shook his head.