Page 32 of Hairpin Curves

“No, I’m just antsy. I want something to focus on.”

Megan pulled off at the next exit, and they switched places. Back behind the wheel, Scarlett started to relax.

But then Megan piped up. “So what are your dreams?”

Scarlett groaned. “Fuck, I thought you might leave that alone once we changed drivers.”

“Nope.”

Dreams. Her dreams. “I try not to think about that sort of thing.”

“That’s sad.”

A muscle twitched in Scarlett’s jaw. Did she want to be pitied by Megan, or hated by her? It was difficult to choose. “I don’t want to get my hopes up about something ridiculous.”

“What, you want to be an astronaut? A professional figure skater?” Megan teased.

Scarlett whipped her head around to glare at Megan, without any real anger. “If I’m going to become a professional athlete, it would be for shot put or something, not fucking figure skating. We’re from Florida.”

“Don’t deflect. Come on.” Megan reached across and gave her a nudge. It was the first time she’d touched Scarlett, and Scarlett’s brain short-circuited for a moment at that realization. Even the briefest touch had Scarlett hyperaware of how close they were in this car. Then Megan added, “I showed you mine, you show me yours.”

Scarlett laughed. “That means something very different than you’re using it for.”

“Words can mean multiple things.” Megan shrugged. “Whatever. You don’t have to be honest with me.”

Scarlett sighed. Of course it would be guilt of some kind. “Okay. Fine. You want to know what I want? I don’t know what I want, because all the things I thought I could do are things I failed at.”

“You’re not being specific.”

“Have a healthy relationship?” Scarlett gripped the steering wheel tighter, her foot getting harder on the accelerator as her heart began to race. “That’s one. And also have a good career. I thought I’d become a teacher, but high school was hell for me and now we both know how college turned out.” She stared straight ahead. “I’m stupid and I’d be stupid to deny it.”

They were doing eighty, and Scarlett forced herself to ease off the gas. Megan was silent beside her, as Scarlett had suspected. No way to compete with the truth.

“I think you’re smart,” Megan said eventually, and the words sounded hollow.

“Don’t patronize me. It’s more insulting.” Scarlett didn’t want to look over. Her eyes felt hot, and she tried to blink the feeling away. “Put the music back on.”

“No.” Megan shifted to face Scarlett. “I’m not going to say I’m not still mad at you for lying to me and abandoning me, because I am. But I’m not going to sit here while you lie again and say that you’re stupid. You’re not stupid. You don’t test well, sure, but you did great on projects and essays. And you got through three semesters of college with none of the accommodations you needed. If you wanted to be a teacher, you could do it.”

Scarlett shook her head, lips pressed tightly together. She didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want the hope to spring up only to be crushed again. When she thought she could speak without her voice shaking, she explained more. “I’m not teacher smart. And that’s fine. Not everybody is. So I’m making ends meet. I used to hope something would come up that I loved, some job that might fit, but it didn’t. And I don’t think it will. I’m afraid...” She stopped short, mouth snapping shut.

The silence fell between them again. Scarlett wanted to crack a joke but couldn’t find one.

Megan’s words came gently into the quiet. “Afraid of what?”

Scarlett didn’t need to answer her. But maybe Megan needed to hear it. Maybe Megan needed Scarlett to put her guard down, just a bit, and mend something between them.

Miraculously, her voice stayed steady. “I’m afraid I can’t do whatever I set my mind to. I care about things but I don’t know if I can achieve them, and that’s not something I like to confront.”

They sat in the silence again. Damn, it was an uncomfortable silence. Finally, though, Scarlett relaxed, her shoulders sliding back down from where they’d crept up toward her ears. She thought of something meta to say. “Pretty heavy subject for the car ride, right?”

Megan looked over at her, and her gaze wasn’t judgmental or pitying. It was thoughtful. “I think it’s okay. Car rides are made for heavy conversations.”

“How would you even know?”

Megan shrugged. “From movies.”

Scarlett relaxed a little more. “I guess it’s good to talk about it.”