Page 97 of Miss Ashbury and the Anatomy of Mending a Heart

“Well, the weather’s clear enough. How about a walk to try out the coat?”

Vera brightened—until now, Stephen had been very stern about keeping her indoors. Suddenly he felt guilty. The first time he’d suggested a walk, and he was going to use the time selfishly. After this walk, one way or another, their relationship would never be the same.

Vera beamed. “I’d love that, but I’m not wearing the hat. I won’t be able to enjoy the sunshine.”

CHAPTER 32- VERA

They slowly rambled down the hillside, Vera’s hand tucked neatly into the crook of his elbow. She tried very hard to ignore that simple point of contact, the warmth radiating from it. She knew the corresponding glow in her heart was due to the emotions that she’d been trying—very unsuccessfully—to repress.

They walked largely in silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable on her end. She and Stephen were so often together they weren’t beholden to the same constraints of politeness as they would have been if they weren’t such good friends.

Friends. It was a word she’d been trying to reconcile herself to lately. And yet, it was too small a word to contain all her emotions. It was much like trying to shoehorn her ankle into her boot before the swelling had fully gone down.

“Vera,” Stephen finally said when they stood at the edge of the lower pasture. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something I need to ask you.”

Vera tensed. His tone held an element she couldn’t read, something she didn’t have a name for. That was rare when it came to him—she’d studied Stephen the same way she’d pored over the medical texts he’d lent her.

“Is anything the matter?”

She couldn’t think of anything that might make him frown the way he was. At least, not anything between them. The last few weeks as her ankle had been healing had been among the happiest times she could recall.

Stephen had regaled her with past tales from his doctoring. He’d read her letters from his physician friends in London. Apparently, doctors were all the same—they loved to discuss new medical treatments and procedures, even in the tedious format of long letters. Vera loved that Stephen enjoyed sharing them with her, that he seemed to respect her ideas and opinions when speaking about them afterward.

If Stephen wasn’t out seeing patients, he’d always been nearby. He’d taken to bringing his ledgers into the library. Sometimes, they’d sit in companionable silence, Stephen working at the desk, Vera reading.

Unfortunately, that time together hadn’t muted Vera’s feelings in the least. If anything, they’d only grown stronger. Her feelings were like one of those creeping vines that fought to enter the greenhouse. Vera plucked one thought or emotion, only to turn around and realize several new ones had taken its place.

“I’ve truly enjoyed our time working together,” Stephen began, and winced.

Vera’s face fell, her stomach dropped. Oh no—in the busyness of the past weeks, she’d forgotten their agreement. Rather, she’d forgotten that their time together was drawing to a close.

Vera rifled through her mind, trying to remember the date. They’d fulfilled their three months nearly a week ago—it was a day that she’d been looking forward to, at least in the beginning. How had it come and gone without her realizing?

Stephen held a folded parchment in his hand. He was going to do as she’d asked and send her away with a recommendation—just as she’d wanted at the outset. Terror and pain sank their claws into her heart.

Vera had no idea what expression was on her face; she couldn’t have controlled it if she’d tried. All she could stupidly think was, Not another letter telling me I’m not welcome in my family anymore.

That was foolish—Stephen, Benjamin, Anne, and Jacqueline weren’t her family. Just because her traitorous heart had claimed them didn’t mean she had any right to them.

“Vera,” he started again. “I know that we had an agreement. I want to offer you this before I say anything more. It’s a recommendation—a glowing one.”

Vera opened her mouth—to say what, she didn’t know—but Stephen held up a hand. “Wait. I need to say this. You’ve been an excellent medical assistant. I’ve written to Dr. Halveston in London, and he’s very interested in taking you on as an assistant there, in the hospital. They’re using young women as nurses more, especially to help with ladies, who might not be comfortable with a gentleman physician.”

Vera’s eyes burned.

Letters were funny things, she thought, her eyes clamped on the folded parchment in his hand. A splash of ink, a bit of pulp, could change your life forever.

“But I hope you’ll stay,” he said.

“Wait. Pardon?” Vera glanced up at him, tears spilling over her eyelids and tracking down her cheeks.

Stephen’s face was alive with…something, some emotion she could only hope she understood.

“But I don’t want you to be my assistant anymore, Vera. I want you to be my wife.”

She nearly staggered back. “What?”

“I don’t want you to accept me because you feel that you don’t have options,” Stephen said quickly, the words tumbling out, one after another, as if he’d practiced them before and was in a hurry to have them done. “I promise that if you don’t want me, you can still stay here. We can go on as we are. I’ll try—” His voice broke on the word and he bit his lip. “I’ll try not to make you uncomfortable with how I feel.”