Page 52 of Who The Hell Are You?

I bristle, unsure what that means, but he waves his hands. “Honestly we’re so thrilled to meet you.”

“The witch outside wouldn’t let me see you.”

Cass’s mum taps his foot again, scowling but it doesn’t hold any malice. “Casper, you need to stop calling the nurse a witch.”

He points a finger at his dad, “You need to get a new husband, he’s looking at my boyfriend. It’s not Miley’s fault he’s so pretty.” He whines, giving his mum giant puppy eyes that I have never seen before.

“Oh boy, I am filming this to show the guys at our next golf weekend.”

“Baxter!” His mum chastises her husband, but he’s already pulling out his phone and aiming it at Cass.

“Honestly Mum, don’t waste your breath. You need a new husband.” Casper pats my hand, like it’s a decision we’ve both made and we’re breaking it to them.

His mum’s lip wobbles trying not to smile, eyebrows furrowing but she can’t keep a straight face. “Why is that, Casper?”

“This is gonna be good.” His dad says.

Cass shrugs, “He clearly doesn’t love you.”

“How have you come to that conclusion?” She asks, amused.

“It’s obvious he doesn’t love you–he lets you walk around, alone! I can’t keep my hands off Miles and all we’ve done is suck–”

I clamp my palm over his mouth and it’s like he notices I’m here, again, because he melts back and rests his head on my shoulder. My skin hurts, it's so red with embarrassment.

Moving my hand, I try to pull away not to touch his bandaged hand, but he keeps me tightly in his grip. “You made a child together and he just lets you go and come as you please, what loving husband does that?” He turns to me, incredibly serious. “It would make me feel much better if we glued ourselves together. You should move in with me, then I can watch you.”

I start laughing and he looks puzzled, which sets off his mum who even snorts.

“This is gold.” His dad says from behind the camera, which has filmed the entire thing. “Introducing us to the boyfriend and moving in on the same day, I didn’t realise this was such a momentous occasion.”

He glares at his dad, pulling me closer but also placing a protective hand over his mum’s. “Calling the love of my life my boyfriend is just insulting. Dump his ass, Mum.”

We all break out into fits of laughter and even though I’m not taking his medicated haze declaration to heart, it does make the organ triple in size.

The door opens and a nurse comes in with a trolley, a tray of food on top and Cassie buries his face behind my ear. “She’s the witch that wouldn’t let me see you.” He doesn’t say it quietly, and the woman just laughs.

“Heres my favourite patient. Breakfast, love.”

He groans, adjusting himself on the bed. “Can I have another pillow?”

“No, you’ve got five.”

“Witch.”

“Casper!” His mum taps his foot, smiling apologetically at the nurse but she just waves everyone off, like the entire conversation doesn’t bother her at all.

“Oh boy, I’m still filming.” His dad says rather giddily, and this entire scene makes me incredibly happy that Cass has people like this as his parents. Their closeness makes me miss my own mum, which is entirely my fault because I’ve been on some endeavor to prove I can look after myself for the past couple of years.

“It’s breakfast time and then you sir, are going to get some rest.” The nurse brings over the tray of food and I remove myself from the bed, to Cassie’s whines. He complains for precisely two seconds until he sees warm porridge with fruit, smiling at the blueberries like they’re his new true love.

“I’ll walk you back to the waiting room.” His mum stands too, embracing her husband once again who is wiping away a tear as he looks over the videos he just took.

“I’ll save these for your wedding, love of Casper's life.” He mocks, pulling me in for a bear hug to my surprise. “It is amazing to meet you, Miles.”

“Ugh, it’s too soon to call me that.” I say, accepting the fatherly affection which is so foreign to me, but clearly second nature to this family.

“I don’t think so.” He says quietly, giving me a squeeze before letting me head out of the room with his wife.