Page 26 of Sudden Summer

He nodded, gently wrapping his fingers around my wrist, moving his chair back from the table at the same time he pulled me so I sat in his lap. His arms went around my waist, and he buried his face against my neck. I could feel the itchy stubble of his unshaven face scratching along my skin, but it didn’t hurt. Nope. It tickled in that funny way that made my heart beat a little faster and my fingers feel numb.

“Beau?”

“I just need a minute, Chickadee. Just one minute of holding you so I can pull myself together.” His voice was still so raw. And I would have been lying to him—and myself—if I told him I wasn’t exactly where I wanted to be.

So I stayed still, except for my hand, which threaded through his hair, moving it back from his face.

“Do you want to know what I see when I look at Juniper?” I closed my eyes for a second after I asked, trying to ground myself while pushing down the bitter emotion that clogged my throat when I thought about Beau’s pain. Rosa had been so unfair to him. Hadn’t even given him a chance. But part of my heart understood how hard it was to let someone help. To trust someone to be there for you when you were vulnerable…

A warm touch on my face had my eyes fluttering open.

“What do you see when you look at her?” Beau asked.

“I see hope. I see a beautiful little soul that is going to grow up surrounded by so much love. I see someone who will be feisty and fierce, because you will teach her to stand up for herself and what’s right. I see family dinners, and daddy-daughter dances. I see the first time she barrel races against one of her cousins and gives them a whoopin’.” His face inched closer to mine. God, my heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest. “But most of all, when I look at her, I see a mini version of my best friend. You may not have been there for the very start of her life, but you’re here now. And you are going to be everything to her. I know it’s so hard, but try to focus on that. Don’t let the anger and regret take you away from what you have in this moment.”

“In this moment,” he whispered, his eyes searching mine. For what, though? Our faces were so close I could feel the heat of his breath against my lips. Holy shit. Was Beau about to kiss me? I hope my eyes said my answer because…Yes… fuck yes! Please, my brain begged. Please just lean a little closer and⁠—

A wail came from the living room. Beau’s eyes closed as he backed away from me, raking his hands through his hair.

“I’ll get her,” I offered, my heart still pounding in my chest as I slid off his lap.

“Yeah, okay.” Beau cleared his throat, standing up and grabbing the papers scattered around the table. “I’ll grab all the paperwork we should need, and meet you by the door.”

He was going to kiss me. I knew it in my bones.

The door inside the pediatrician’s office opened, cool air filling the space as the doctor entered.

“Beau, it’s so great to see you. How have you been?” Dr. Marissa DeLuca walked into the examination room, smiling brighter than I’d ever seen before. We certainly didn’t cross paths frequently, but we both knew each other professionally. She was someone I regularly recommended to my pregnant patients when they asked for family doctors in the area who would be good for their newborn.

But with the way her eyes had scanned Beau from head to toe the second she walked in, I was immediately regretting suggesting her for Juniper.

“Good. Obviously, I got the shock of my life learning I’m a dad, but we’re good.” He winked at me, and I nodded, forcing myself to relax my shoulders.

“I bet it was a shock. Look at her! She’s absolutely precious, though. I’m just going to listen to her heart and lungs, and then we can talk about medical history and care going forward.”

Beau and I both watched as Dr. DeLuca stepped toward Juniper and started her exam.

“Is she okay?” Beau’s hand laid protectively over Juniper’s belly a moment later. She was sprawled out on the examination table, her smile hidden by the pacifier in her mouth. But her eyes were giving her away—big, bright, and engaging with the world around her.

“She’s perfect!” Dr. DeLuca declared. “Height and weight in the sixtieth percentile, she’s got a strong core and great control of her head and neck. She’s right on track.”

I stepped closer to the table, tickling Juniper’s round belly as Dr. DeLuca began typing on her laptop. “She has a little rash starting here, in the fold of her neck. I’ve been putting powder and⁠—”

“That’s very common at this age. Just try to keep it dry.” Marissa didn’t even look up at me as she answered. “Beau, do you have Juniper’s medical history? I saw they didn’t ask you for it at the front desk. It’s better if we get everything squared away on the first visit.”

I nodded, reaching into the bag slung over my shoulder. “Her records were in the files we were given from CPS.”

Dr. DeLuca’s smile fell as she took the paperwork from me. “Alright. This seems to be all in order. Now, she is due for some of her vaccinations today, do you still want to go ahead with that?”

Beau’s eyes dropped to Juniper. “She’s going to cry.”

Marissa laughed—a little too hard. I wouldn’t have cared, except her hand landed on Beau’s arm and I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek to stop from growling. What the hell was wrong with me? “Maybe. But she’s tough, just like her dad. And you’ll give her some snuggles. I bet she forgets all about the little poke in a minute or two.”

He nodded. “You're right. Who knew a little pipsqueak could make me so anxious. I feel like an elephant with a mouse in the room.”

“You look like one, too,” I joked.

“Okay, Daddy,” she cooed, still typing information into her laptop. “How much is she eating and how often?”