Page 6 of Sudden Summer

Child Protective Services? What the hell was someone from there—someone with an infant in a car seat—doing on my doorstep?

“No children live here, Ms. Slater. I’m confused on why you would need to come inside.”

Her brows furrowed. “Mr. Ford, are you acquainted with Ms. Rosa Monaco?”

My mind went blank before flooding with images of a drive out to Austin with Hayes.

Fuck. The woman I slept with last year…the one night stand from Austin. I’d made a mistake. Her name was Rosa. I fucking made a mistake, and buried that night down so deep because of the guilt I felt every time I looked at Birdie. My eyes dropped to the baby in the car seat. Bright blue eyes stared back at me. Ones that looked just like my bright blue eyes.

“Yes.” My throat felt like it was swelling. I couldn’t breathe. “Is she okay?”

“Can I please come inside, Mr. Ford?”

“Beau. Mr. Ford is my dad. I’m just Beau.”

Her face softened. “Beau. Can I please come inside?”

Soft footsteps sounded behind me. “Hey,” Birdie greeted. “Is everything okay?”

Birdie’s eyes moved from me, to Ms. Slater, and then to the baby. “Oh my goodness, who do we have here?”

“Beau, maybe it’s best we talked in private?” Ms. Slater suggested.

“This is my best friend.” The words squeaked past my scratchy throat. Jesus. Could you go into anaphylactic shock at the realization you had a fucking kid you knew nothing about? “She can stay.”

Ms. Slater nodded. I gestured to the sofa, walking to it on shaking legs. Birdie sat next to me, her eyes glued to the baby the entire time. This woman was about to tell me I was a dad. I could feel it in my bones.

“Beau, I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but Rosa passed away three days ago.”

“Rosa?” Birdie questioned. Fuck. Holy shit, my life was imploding in front of my very eyes. I’d fucked up, and Birdie…God. This was going to hurt her. I was going to fucking hurt her.

My hand dragged across my face, the stubble of a beard I should have shaved days ago scratching against my calloused skin. I couldn’t feel it. I couldn’t feel anything except shame, knowing I had to admit to something I wasn’t proud of. “I slept with her when I went out to Austin for that rodeo weekend with Hayes, God, what? A year ago?”

“Juniper is four months old.”

“Juniper…” I whispered. My heart squeezed. My daughter’s name was Juniper. Something kicked inside my chest, a weird tightness as I let the idea of having a daughter take root. But maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

“You’re named on her birth certificate as her biological father. It’s our first step when one biological parent, the primary caregiver, passes away, to locate the other biological parent.”

Birdie sucked in a sharp breath next to me, but I just nodded. She had my eyes, of course she was mine. Ms. Slater worked on getting the straps of the car seat loosened while I turned to face Birdie. All the color had drained from her face, and it wasn’t just exhaustion that lined her red-rimmed eyes.

“You’re a dad,” she whispered, and I nodded.

“Can I hold her?” I croaked as the baby….Juniper…was freed from the seat.

“Of course.”

She fussed as Ms. Slater transferred her into my hold. It should have been easy for my mind to deny it, for the loudest part of my brain to lash out in denial. But looking at her, looking at this little baby that fit perfectly into my arms and settled in my embrace, I knew there was no use. I’d been a dad for four months, and hadn’t even known it.

What the hell was I supposed to do now?

Beau

“Excuse me for one minute, please.” Birdie cleared her throat and got up from the couch, but my hand caught her wrist.

“Don’t go,” I pleaded. She was running away, and I selfishly needed her help.

“I’m just going to grab my phone, I’ll only be gone a minute. I’m not going anywhere.”