Page 77 of Sudden Summer

“You’re just gonna leave your truck at Lach’s?”

“Yep. I’ll grab it tomorrow. No big deal.”

“Okay.” She looked over her shoulder, then back to the road. Her eyes went up to the sky, and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

I planted my feet in the dirt. We hadn’t taken more than fifty steps, but I could tell something was wrong.

“If you don’t want to⁠—”

“No! I do. I want to so bad. It’s just my mind being loud.”

I nodded. “Loud how?”

“I want it to be good for you, too,” she whispered. “And I don’t know how to make sure that it is.”

God, this woman. “Birdie, there is not any situation, in any universe, where us being together is going to be anything other than fucking bliss for me. Remember what happened just from us kissing?”

Her cheeks lit up brighter than the golden light of the sunset in front of us. “What if I break it?” she whispered.

“Break what?” I asked, thinking she meant the condom. In which case, I’d be fucking thrilled, because the idea of having my baby in her belly felt so fucking right. I’d been fucking forced right out of my fear of having kids when Juniper came home. And now, I couldn’t stop thinking about growing our family.

“You know…” Her eyes dropped to my…er…zipper and she pointed with her finger. “It. People have broken them before.”

I lost it.

“Don’t laugh at me!” she giggled, as she slapped my arm. “We’re not young…I don’t want to do any permanent damage. I could be so bad that it happens.”

“We’ll avoid any positions that might put us in danger tonight, Chickadee. How about that?”

“And you know what those positions are?”

“Mmm. I think that after I show you I’m unbreakable, you’ll love riding me. I know I’ll love it, even if there is a risk of you breaking my dick.”

“Okay.”

“Come on.” I squeezed her hand and we started walking again. “Maybe we should talk about what you think you’d like.”

“Do we have to talk about it?” she squeaked. “I’m sure whatever happens will be great.”

“I’d actually like to talk about it because consent is key, and I want to make sure everything about tonight is special for you.”

Her hand lifted, and the heel of her palm pressed against her chest. “This shouldn’t be hard to talk about…so why is it?”

“Because it means so much to both of us,” I admitted as Birdie’s eyes widened. “When you are…handling things yourself…what are you thinking about?”

“Um.” There went her damn lip back under her teeth. “I usually picture one of the scenes from a book I’ve recently read. Something steamy…you know. Where he calls her a good girl in a growly voice and says she’s the only one for him.”

“And you picture the characters? When you’re touching yourself?” Fuck, why was I feeling jealous? Because I wanted to be the one she pictured? Because I wanted to know I lived so deep in her heart that she only ever thought of me. I was an asshole.

“Uh, no. Not exactly. I usually picture myself…”

“Yes…” I pushed.

“Um. Well it’s usually hard to get a lock on who is…uh…in my mind…”

We had stopped walking. At some point in this conversation, we’d turned to face each other, my body pulled towards hers so we were almost pressed against each other. I swept back a strand of hair that had fallen out of her braid at some point during the day.

“Just say it. You’re not going to hurt my feelings.”