Page 90 of Sudden Summer

“I love what I do,” I whispered.

“I know you do.”

“So why is there a voice inside my heart screaming that I never want to go back? That what I want out of life isn’t there anymore?”

“You don’t have to decide anything tonight. But I want you to know, you don’t ever have to go back to work if you don’t want to, Birdie. You can stay home and be with Juniper. Or when everything is cleared up, you can start your own practice and kick ass taking care of the women in this community that way. And if you want to work on a safe haven project, then sign me up, too. Whatever feels right in your heart, I’ll always support whatever you decide.”

And that reassurance was everything I needed.

Birdie

Ihanded a fresh cup of coffee to Colt and a glass of water to Violet before I sat down next to her on the sofa. Beau’s encouraging words were still floating around in my head. He was right. It felt right to move forward with the safe house project, even if it was just in my spare time while I tested out the waters.

“Have you heard anything about Alexis’s baby? Was she found?”

Colt’s eyes drifted to Violet and Connor before he cleared his throat and shook his head. “It’s awful, but the department, surrounding counties, even the feds sent in people to help. We’re not giving up hope.”

“I can’t believe it’s been a week now. And nobody knows where this guy is?”

“We’ve had a few leads, but nothing has really panned out.”

“God, it still makes me sick to my stomach to think about. And now, on your day off…,” I sighed. “I’m sorry you have to be here⁠—”

“Knock that off right now.” Colt shook his head at me. “There is nothing more important than making sure everyone in this family is safe. Today’s my day to watch out for you, and that’s what I’m going to do.”

“Beau is being a little overprotective, though. I mean, we don’t even know what really happened in the field, and everything has been quiet around here since.”

“And it’ll stay quiet because I’m going to take this cup of coffee and sit on your porch looking menacing until Beau is back from whatever farting around he’s doing with the herd today.”

He smiled, his hand resting on Vi’s knee for a second before he got up and walked out to the front porch.

“I love that man so much, but I told him under no circumstance was he to stay in this house with us while we had girl time.”

“You don’t think he’s interested in hearing Jessie talk about her sex life with Hawk?”

Violet blushed, her eyes sparkling. “Oh, I bet that man would run out of this house screaming if she so much as mentioned kissing Hawk.”

I laughed, my eyes dropping to Juniper who was starting to fuss on her play mat. She was looking right at me, her little fist rubbing like crazy over her mouth.

“Oh, Juniper. It’s okay! I’m going to go fix your bottle right now, okay?” I looked at Violet, cupping my chest. “I don’t know how breastfeeding moms do it. Every time she’s cried the last few days, my boobs start aching like crazy! Are you okay staying with them while I fix her food?”

“Of course. But, what do you mean your boobs hurt?”

I stood, my hands still holding my breasts. When I pressed against them, that familiar ache that had been there all week was still there. “You know, they’re just sore. Like when they first start to grow at puberty. They just ache.”

“Oh, yeah. Does that happen with your period? I never had sore boobs until I got pregnant the first time. It was actually the symptom that made me freak out after I transferred Connor, because as soon as I felt it, I knew his embryo had implanted. I swear it happened even a few days before the test came back positive.”

“Huh.” I smiled as I pulled out my phone. I’d been using the same app to track my cycle for years, and butterflies erupted in my stomach as soon as I looked at the calendar.

It had been thirty-six days since my period. Thirty-six. I’d had a twenty-nine to thirty-one day cycle since I was sixteen-years-old. I would have laughed at Violet’s words, except my boobs had been killing me all week. And I could blame being hyper emotional on everything that had been happening lately, but was it an extra week of PMS overwhelming me? Or something else? I counted back the days to the first time Beau and I were together…

If I ovulated late, and the condom hadn’t worked…it was possible. I tossed my phone down on the coffee table, shaking my head.

“You okay?” Violet asked, placing her hand on my arm. Connor screeched and smiled at Juniper, both of them working hard to reach the same toy at the center of the tummy time mat. Connor was going to win, he was already bouncing his bum across the mat, but Juniper, not to be outdone, rolled with all her might.

“They’re so cute together.”

Vi smiled. “I didn’t think we’d have a cousin so close in age for him to grow up with. It’s wonderful! They’ll both be lucky to have Beckett to look up to.”