Page 90 of Derecho

“Dolly?” My voice caught as I wiped at my wet cheeks.

“Hi, honey.”

“Uh, what are you doing here?”

“Well, first, I’d like to apologize. Back when I had my kids, kissing babies was just a thing everyone did. But I’m not so stuck in my ways that I can’t learn. Lachlan told me how upsetting that was to you, and that it’s why you’ve been reluctant to let us help with Reid, and I’m just so sorry. I won’t kiss Reid again. Although I do hope you’ll let me hold onto him in the future. I know I’m a lot sometimes, but I love all my grandbabies so much.”

“Reid isn’t⁠—”

“Now, here’s the funny thing. You see, Birdie calls me ‘Ma’. I asked her to. When she was living with Beau and helping out with Juniper. The thing is, those two have always been attached at the hip, and I knew they were gonna find their way to each other. But you. What a beautiful surprise you turned out to be.” Dolly cupped my face, her hand warm and soft against my skin. “I should have been watching out for you all this time, too. I’m so sorry I didn't, Lainey. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. But if you’d let me now, I’d love to step up. As someone who you can come to. To talk. Or just for a cup of hot tea when you need to get Reid out of the house. Someone who you can laugh with when Lachlan makes you mad.”

“You’re his mom, though.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be your Ma, too.” Dolly searched my eyes like she was looking for the deepest, darkest corners of my soul. “You don’t see it, do you?”

“What?”

“How much better he’s been since you and Reid got here. Honey, I saw the change as soon as you started delivering those meals to him out here. But when he called me just now, the fear in his voice. That he was going to lose you because he’d made a mistake…”

“I don’t want to lose him,” I choked out. Dolly’s eyes went to my bed, where nearly every piece of clothing I had here was laid out next to the duffle bag I’d found at the top of the closet.

“That boy down there has been through so much pain. But I imagine you know that, and can empathize more than another human should be able to. That’s why I know this is gonna work.”

“This?”

“You and Lachlan. I should have known right from the start.” Dolly laughed.

“How could you have?”

“The universe conspires in magical ways. And for my boys, it seems to be all in the names.”

I didn’t know what that meant, but I smiled.

“I know better than to kiss the baby now. But is it okay to give you a hug?”

I nodded, unable to answer past the gravel in my throat. This woman had just apologized to me for something I flew completely off the handle for, told me she wanted to take care of me like a mother would, blessed whatever the heck was going on between me and Lachlan, and now she wanted to give me a hug?

Dolly’s arms wrapped around me, and I melted. This is what having a mom should feel like. It’s what it should be like. Someone to validate your feelings. Someone who could apologize when you told them they did something wrong. Dolly was the mother I wished I had growing up, and the mother I wish I could be for Reid.

“Dolly?”

“Yeah, honey?”

“What was Lachlan’s favorite meal growing up?”

I glanced over at Reid, still fast asleep in the Pack-n-Play Lachlan had set up for him downstairs. It was a life saver. I didn’t realize so many things that looked perfect for babies to sleep in weren’t actually safe for sleep. I shuddered as an image flashed in my mind of him sleeping in his swing.

No.

The knife in my hand caught my eye. What if he was closer…and I accidentally dropped the knife on him? Oh, God. What if I was carrying it to the sink, and I slipped? If it came out of my hand, it could fly across the room⁠—

“Are you okay?”

I gasped, crossing my legs as my hand—the one not holding the knife—flew to my chest. “You just scared me so bad I almost peed my pants!”

“Sorry.” Lachlan chuckled. “Maybe you can talk to your doctor about pelvic floor exercises when you go next week.”

I groaned. “Let’s leave my pelvic floor out of pre-dinner conversations, please. What’s behind your back?” I asked, my eyes scrutinizing the awkward and stiff way he was standing.