Page 102 of All Our Nevers

He nods.

“Wait, really? You told him?”

“Yeah. Yesterday. After our run.”

“Owen…” Pride is an explosion in my chest. I want to hug him and kiss him and show him just how incredible that is. I settle for squeezing his knee. “That’s amazing. That’s so, so good. How’d it go?”

“It’s kind of thanks to you, actually. I only brought it up because I needed advice about… whatever this is between us.”

“Oh yeah?” My interest is piqued. “And was Andy’s advice any good?”

“Well, he told me my moral compass is fucked up because morality is subjective and the situation is fucked up.”

I laugh loudly at that. “A real way with words, that one.”

“But then, yeah, it was. He basically told me to stop trying to protect you all the time, because you don’t like or need that, and that I can just be your… partner.” He says the word tentatively, like he’s wary of how I’ll react.

“Partner, huh?” I shift in my seat, an unwanted warmth blooming on my face. “Between this and work, that’s really the theme of your summer, isn’t it?”

He lets out a single “ha” then signals left, checks his mirrors, checks his blind spot, switches lanes. So meticulous.

Then he says, “Speaking of hard conversations…”

A few drops of rain hit the windshield and I’m suddenly conscious of my heartbeat—a thick, angry thud in my chest. I take a slow breath, hold it for three, then let it out.

After the law firm party, I did more cyberstalking of Connor than I’ve historically allowed myself, and confirmed my unfortunate suspicions. Now I just have to tell Owen.

“Okay, the thing is… Connor…” I look at Owen in the driver’s seat, then the road ahead of us. “I’m worried maybe I shouldn’t tell you this while you’re driving. Especially at night, and it’s starting to rain—”

“I’ll be fine, I promise,” he says. “I’m just listening.”

I clench my fists in my lap, focusing on the sting of each pointed nail into the meat of my palm. “His name is Connor… Berrens.”

“Connor Berrens… Conn—Connor Berrens?” His realization fills the car, disbelief sharp and resonant. “Connor Berrens? The guy I—”

“Keep your eyes on the road please.”

“Lia, Connor Berrens? My coworker? The guy I’m up against for partner? That Connor Berrens?”

I don’t reply.

It takes a moment for it to hit him. “Wait, we were—at the party…”

“I saw him at your firm’s party, yeah.”

The patter of rain picks up, distorting the view through the dark windshield.

“Lia, fuck. What the fuck. I am so sorry. I can’t believe—”

“He didn’t see me. It’s fine. I really don’t think he knows I was there. But I saw him. That’s why I was such a bitch that night.”

“You’re sure he didn’t see you?” he asks.

“I’m pretty sure.”

Owen’s face is flushed, a line of perspiration accumulating on his brow, his fists clench on the steering wheel. “Conn—I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna kill him. I’m gonna lose my job and it’ll be worth it. I’m gonna fucking murder—”

I place a hand on his shoulder. “You have to calm down, Owen. I’m fine, and it’s all going to be fine. But you have to stay calm so you can drive safely, okay?”