Page 25 of All Our Almosts

I give his knee another squeeze, because I know that was hard for him and I’m proud of the effort he’s making, then I pull out my phone. “Okay, I technically have the app downloaded already, but I haven’t set up my profile yet.”

Then poor Andy is then subjected to a full thirty minutes of profile set up minutiae with me. He helps trim down some of my long-winded prompt answers, and even—after much hesitation and arm twisting—weighs in on the pictures I use.

“What about these?” I ask, scooting next to him on the couch and flipping between two pictures of me walking down Beacon Street. In the first, I’m looking over my shoulder at the camera with a normal closed-mouth smile, bright green dress, neat line of rowhouses in the back. The second is the same, but Lia must have said something to make me laugh from behind the camera, because my mouth is cracked open and my eyes are squeezed shut.

His face is stone as he looks between the two, then says, “The second one.”

“Are you sure? I feel like it shows more personality but I also look a little ugly.”

He just snorts, then goes back to scrolling on his phone.

“What kind of response is that?” I shriek, shoving his shoulder. “You know I’m emotionally fragile right now, Andrew. You can’t just laugh at me for feeling ugly.”

I’m not actually offended, of course. And he can tell, because he shoves my shoulder right back, making me flop sideways onto the couch cushion.

“Yeah, right. Like you need me to tell you how you look.”

“Well, under the circumstances,” I muse, righting myself, “I am literally asking your opinion on how I look.”

“Yeah, but you know you’re beautiful.”

He says it like a throwaway, staring down at his phone, as though he’s told me I’m beautiful a million times before. And let me tell you—he has not. Not that he’s said I’m unattractive or something. He just doesn’t comment on my appearance. And why would he? He’s a guy. But I admit I’m a little thrown right now.

“Are you still trying to make me feel better about the Elliot thing? Because I promise, I’m fine.”

“Are you fishing for compliments? Because I promise I don’t give a fuck about Elliot.”

And I can’t think of anything to say to that, so I just say, “Okay, fine,” and add the picture to my profile. “I think I’m done. Want to help me swipe? It’s actually pretty fun. I do it with Lia all the time.”

“Yeah… I’ve actually used that app before.”

“Oh, right. Weren’t you helping Nolan with his profile too?”

“Trying to, but he’s an obstinate motherfucker.”

That makes me laugh out loud. “Okay then, you’re a veteran who can help me in these trenches. Like what do you think about this guy?” I scoot over to show him my screen. Andy’s arm is stretched across the back of the couch, and there’s the perfect amount of space for me underneath it. Our sides are flush as he leans in to take a look.

“Thirty-four, consultant, likes travel and working out… eh.” He gives a noncommittal shrug.

“Okay, you’re right, that is painfully boring, but look at the picture with his cats! And it says their names are Rumpkin and Bumpkin. I’m sorry but I simply must match with him.”

Andy pinches the bridge of his nose. “Jesus, Soph, you can be more discerning than that.”

“Okay then, Mr. Know-It-All. What do you look for? Let me see yours.” I stick my hand out, waiting.

“Well…” He reluctantly hands over his phone. “I try to glean if they seem smart. I know you can’t tell much from a profile, but the wrong ‘your’ is a dealbreaker.”

“Wow,” I chuckle, “insufferable as always.” I have his passcode memorized so I unlock it and scan until I see the app. “Don’t you worry you swiped away on your soulmate because she made a typo?”

“Oh, 100%. And it would be a just punishment for my elitism.”

“What about what they’re looking for? Like if someone wants marriage and kids, is that a turn off for you?” I can’t help but notice the list of unread messages in his inbox, several of which are… quite forward. I should’ve seen that coming. Catnip Andy.

“I mean, I do want those things eventually. But usually I’m just using the app for… something casual.”

Realization dawns, and I feel my mouth fall open. “Oh my god! You just use it for sex!”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” A flush rises up his neck.