Page 91 of All Our Almosts

Maybe it really isn’t over yet.

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Lia’s studio apartment is nowhere near big enough for two adult women and one adult bulldog to cohabitate, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

When I arrived on Tuesday night, I framed the request as “crashing for a night or two,” when in reality I had no plan whatsoever. At the time, I shared only the bare bones of my situation with Andy: that we’re taking some space to think about what we want, and that it’s all my idea.

Now it’s Wednesday, and Lia’s out late at an influencer event. I’m already brushing my teeth and looking through the works in progress along her art table when Lia finally gets home.

The door opens to the merry call of, “Where’s my belly boy?”

Archie faithfully trots over, jowls flopping and tail wagging as he greets his mom. Lia crouches down to lavish him with affection. “Were you my bravest boy while I was gone? Did you have an excellent dog evening? Bravo, mio caro.” She scratches his butt and he does a little side-to-side dance.

“Huhh Luhh,” I say around my toothbrush.

“Hey, Soph. Ugh, I’m exhausted. I either need a drink or to go to bed right now.”

I pop back into the small bathroom to spit out my toothpaste before asking, “Did something happen at the event?”

Lia bends down to unzip her knee-high snakeskin boots. “I broke up with Rayna.”

“Oh no! I’m sorry. What happened?”

“It’s really okay,” Lia replies as she tosses her shoes aside, then hangs up her fluffy green coat. “If anything, I’m the bitch here.”

I take a seat on Lia’s bed and pat the spot next to me. “Tell me what happened.”

“This is going to sound terrible,” Lia says as she sits, “but Rayna was just too nice for me. Like, I felt like a bad person when I was with her. Sometimes I just want to talk shit and fuck around, and she was not here for it.” She flops backwards onto the bed as she says, “I think I have to be with someone who’s kind of a dick. Is that bad?”

“Kind of,” I laugh. “But at least you know yourself, I guess. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just beat.”

“Honestly I’m exhausted too. I’m happy to just call it a night.”

For the next few minutes, we bob and weave around each other as we change into pajamas, wash our faces—me in the kitchen, Lia in the bathroom—and let Archie out for one last potty break.

Since Lia’s apartment has zero space for a couch, she and I are sharing her double bed for the duration of my stay.

“Hear me out. What if we sleep like Charlie Bucket’s grandparents tonight?” I ask. “Like your head at my feet and vice versa. I feel like we might have a little more room that way.”

“Whatever you want, babe,” Lia says as she joins me on the mattress. “Are your feet smelly?”

“I guess you’ll be the judge of that.” I stick one out towards her, wiggling my toes in her face. Lia slaps it away and we both laugh, then I grab my pillow and toss it to the foot of the bed. I’m all tucked in by the time Lia turns off the light and crawls in on the opposite side. Archie promptly hops on too, settling directly between our legs and taking up a full third of the available space—which we wouldn’t have any other way.

“Hey Soph?” Lia says through the dark.

“Yeah?”

“I have to ask. Are you ready to talk about the Andy thing yet?”

“I don’t know how much more there is to say. I just have a really bad feeling about my interview, and I think we need to grapple with the possibility that I don’t get into Ashmore.”

“Did Andy say anything about what he’s thinking?”

I stare straight up at the ceiling as I explain, “He said he would move to San Diego with me.”

“Really?” Lia sits upright, faint illumination from the streetlights striping her face through the blinds. “Wait, that’s fantastic. What’s the problem then?”