Page 13 of The Cannibal

She pinched my arm. “No cigarettes.”

I smacked my lips, attempting to keep my mouth from becoming too dry. Everything was sensitive. I could feel each one of my teeth, the light breeze on them made it feel like someone was going to pull them out. The roof of my mouth was attempting and failing at healing, still raw when my tongue swiped over it. I will never get used to the extra teeth.

“So . . .” I cleared my throat. We walked together over one of the shallow footbridges and stopped to observe the water. I peered over, her face and mine appeared in the reflective portrait between the lily pads. If we bent down, we could ripple our reflections. “When will your brother and his dog be returning?”

We stared at each other through the reflection, as if afraid to face each other personally, in reality.

“He is on his way, that’s all I know.”

“And Mr. Novikov?”

“They traveled together. I trust they both will arrive in good time.”

I turned my head to her. “Phoebe.”

She stayed staring down at the water.

“Phoebe.”

She pushed out a sharp breath before her head flicked in my direction.

“I can handle more than a few crumbs of information at a time,” my voice strained. I sat on the edge of the bridge.

She sat beside me, her shoulders slumping slightly forward. It was like she had to take a moment to collect her thoughts.

“You died.” She shrugged. “I watched her bury that knife in you. The one meant for me.” She put her hand on her chest, as if to steady her heart. “She’s lucky Luka finished her kindly before Silas could reach you”—her eyes were glassy by the time she looked my way again—“before I got to her. Between us, there would have been nothing left of her.”

Guilt curled up like a barn cat in a chickadee nest, right in the bottom of my stomach.

I reached for her hand, and for once she wasn’t cold. She intertwined her fingers with mine, and I heard her sniffle.

“I’m sorry.” I leaned my head on her shoulder. “I’m just lost.”

“I’m sorry we lost you,” she said softly.

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I know, but at the same time, I don’t.”

“That’s why you have us.” She rested her head on mine.

“Tell me then.” I lowered my gaze on her. “Were you the one to do it? To turn me?”

She shook her head.

“Luka?” I frowned.

She shook again.

My heart was thumping in my chest, threatening to choke me. It meant only one person. The one person who told me he wouldn’t.

“It wasn’t on purpose,” Phoebe said softly. “It was in your system before you arrived, he said.”

Memories of the night appeared to me like a vision. The warmth of the fire on my skin, the heavy breathing staring at the stars, the texture of the fur on the floor where we spent the last night together. I could remember several bites now, even the morning ride in.

The cost of my addiction to him and to venom.

We stared out at the park. Everything was so much more immersive. I wondered if maybe people were just floating through it, unable to appreciate it to its full potential.

Then I realized something.