Page 33 of Croc Food

Not a damn thing.

CHAPTER 16

Chad

“Maybe Mr. Van Buren really enjoys that dynamic,” Bitsy said after we were sitting on the porch with some takeaway Thai food. “But feels pressured to pretend otherwise to fit in with corporate culture.”

“Maybe,” I said, “but at this point I don’t give a fuck. I’m just glad to get the hell away from that toxic environment.”

She squeezed my arm and I kissed her curly blue pigtails, heaving a huge sigh of thankfulness.

So maybe I didn’t have a job, per se, but I would start sending applications out tomorrow.

“What happened, son?” Hayes asked.

He, Junior, and Thirds were all sitting on the steps whittling wood, and whittling wood was a very nice occupation as far as it went, but it was also very messy.

However, I had learned a fucking thing or two in the last several very painful weeks. And one thing I’d learned was that most about what I cared about had been bullshit.

I could chase the corporate ladder all I wanted, but if I didn’t have my wife, it didn’t matter.

And part of giving my wife a happy life was getting along with her family.

“I quit my job,” I said. “I should have done it a long time ago with some of the asshole stuff my boss was saying. But I got too greedy and was willing to put up with it just to climb the corporate ladder. It wasn’t until I almost lost Bitsy that I realized what a mistake I’d made.”

“Well, now, never mind that ol’ bastard, son,” Hayes said easily. “I wonder why he’s so attached to that old school style? Young people these days want to be at home with their spouses.”

“He’s the only golf course in town,” I said. “There’s another one closer to city center that was abandoned several years ago and no one seems to have enough money to revive the place. Sucks because it’s in such a prime location.”

“Not enough money, you say?” Hayes said, stroking his beard. “Hmmm. I wonder. . . and your Granny does need a little project. . .”

Before I could ask what that meant, Bitsy was pulling on the hem of my shirt and dragging me cutely into the kitchen after her.

“I’m really proud of you, Chadley,” she said. “Take your time finding another job. I don’t mind a sexy house husband for a while.”

“House husband, you say?” I asked, feeling tears prickle at the corner of my eyes, and I had to wipe them away, but at least they were happy ones this time. “Arm candy has to earn his keep. Is there anything I can do for you or to you, madam?”

“I have a few ideas,” Bitsy whispered in my ear as I picked her up in my arms and carried her into the bedroom.

Epilogue (Bitsy, one year later)

Isipped a fun little cocktail as Granny and I drove the golf cart around the Town Premier Golf Course & Bait Shop. Managing a golf course had been a challenge at first. But I’d soon gotten the hang of it.

After all, if Mr. Van Buren had done it, how hard could it be?

Dad bought the run-down golf course out of sheer swamp stubbornness, but it turned out more people than we expected were pissed off by Mr. Van Buren’s management of the Whispering Sycamores Golf Course, and business was booming.

At first, I wasn’t sure Dad was going to make Chad the VP of Marketing. After all, Dad hadn’t traditionally been the biggest fan of my husband.

But it seemed like something must have changed, and I wasn’t sure if it was Chad quitting his job in such spectacular fashion. Or, much more likely, it was the fact that Chad had given him an opportunity to really stick it to this city slicker.

Whatever it was, Chad had been begrudgingly given the opportunity to be VP, and now the two of us ran the golf course while Granny spent her time designing insane new golf holes and suggesting adding crocs to the water hazards and vipers to the sand traps.

Back at the Whispering Sycamores, Zach had been given the VP spot over a depressed Kyle, but word on the street was that Mr. Van Buren was losing money fast over the newer, slicker, more exciting Town Premier Golf Course & Bait Shop.

We now sold worms. I mean, how much better could it get?

Dad didn’t quite live here full-time, but he and my brothers were here often enough for them to get their own apartments, which I know was a relief to Chad.