Page 104 of Playboy’s Purgatory

“Do you need some time to think about it?” My hand slides up and down her back, soothing her. Not rushing her.

Because as far as I’m concerned, she can take all the time she needs. No one will start questioning Lola until I’m there. I’m sure every single one of my brothers is expecting me to extend this offer to my woman.

Because they know she is mine.

Even more importantly, they wouldn’t think twice about it because they listened to Lara pull her heart, and her pain, from her chest in the middle of our backyard on a day which should have been filled with BBQ, melted popsicles, and smiles. They respect the gift she gave them that day.

I love her for it. And for her willingness to give me a chance.

So, if she needs time, then she can have it.

Lara goes quiet for a few minutes, her eyes focused on nothing, before she starts to shake her head slowly. “No,” she pauses as if checking in with herself again before repeating, firmer, “no. I don’t want to be there.”

I stay quiet because if she wants to tell me why, I’ll listen. If she doesn’t, it’s a secret she can keep.

“I know what she’ll say,” her words are halted and slow to come out. “I know what wounds she’ll poke, and I’m done letting them fester. Lola made her choice. I’m done holding out any bit of hope about her ever being a better person. It’s all gone,” I sigh, “all the hope I had for myself and hope I held out on Vanessa’s behalf.” She makes a small explosion motion with her hand. “Poof.”

“Are you worried about what the consequences of her actions will be?” I have to ask; I have to know.

Because if there is any chance of her resenting or fearing me because of what happens next, something will have to give. I won’t let that happen; I wouldn’t be able to live with it.

“No,” she whispers before clearing her throat. “She’s made her bed and I stopped trying to protect her or save her a long time ago.”

A lump forms in my throat and I nod. “Okay. It’s completely up to you,” I remind her.

“I’m sure,” she assures me without me needing to ask.

My forehead comes down to meet hers. My lungs expand and I close my eyes as I just enjoy holding her. Just for one more moment.

“I have to go,” I explain. “Being an enforcer for the club means punishments fall under my jurisdiction.”

Her hand slides over my chest and I really wish I was staying right here. “You should be involved because she targeted and used you. That deserves some retribution.”

“Even though she stole, she will leave Dogwood Ridge again alive. We’ll just be controlling where she goes since she has a debt to pay off,” I tell her.

I don’t have to. It’s possible that I shouldn’t tell her.

If she wants the details later, I won’t leave anything out.

Even though I’m aware that I should get up and leave, I don’t want to.

When I come back, will she look at me differently? This is a different side of club life which has nothing to do with chrome or the open road. Lola will be alive, but I doubt my hands will be clean.

How will I face her?

“Hey,” Lara’s voice is gentle and I look into her blue eyes, “I know what you’re worried about.”

My body stiffens and my hand stills. My jaw clenches and I have to fight to keep my face neutral.

“You don’t need to worry about me seeing you differently.” Her hands come up and cup my jaw, her blue eyes bright and clear. “I will not judge you for doing what you need to do for yourself, for me, and for the club. Whatever happens to Lola, she deserves it and she brought it upon herself. No one forced her.”

My face crumples as my fingers thread through her hair and I tilt her head back before I slam my mouth down on hers. I kiss her hard as she clings to me.

I whisper against her lips, needing to know, “Promise?”

“I promise, Jettson.”

After pulling back I search her face, her open, beautiful face. “Okay,” I breathe out. “Can I come back later?”