Page 186 of Near Pemberley

Darcy, for his part, seemed determined to make up for every moment in which he had once been obliged to restrain himself. He was still capable of being reserved in company, but when they were alone, he no longer seemed to see any reason for it. A kiss when she passed him, an arm around her waist when they walked together, his hand finding hers beneath the table – such small things became so natural that Elizabeth soon ceased to notice when they began and only noticed when they were absent.

There were quieter discoveries, too. They learnt each other’s habits with the intimacy that only living together could bring. Darcy discovered that Elizabeth was capable of reading in complete silence for half an hour and then interrupting him with a remark about something entirely unrelated. Elizabeth discovered that her husband could spend a considerable amount of time pretending to read when, in fact, he was watching her. They laughed more easily than either had expected, and there were moments when Elizabeth wondered how they could once have been so certain that they understood one another – when, in truth, they had understood almost nothing.

Yet even during their honeymoon, they did not entirely abandon their practical habits. Between their walks and excursions, they made certain that the Ramsgate house was properly prepared for the Bennets. Rooms were arranged, servants instructed, and every inconvenience they could foresee was dealt with before the family arrived. A long letter to her mother explained what to bring and what was not necessary. What had begun as a refuge for Elizabeth’s family gradually became a place which they could genuinely call home.

Georgiana remained with the Bennet family in their new home for several weeks, delighted by the company, while Elizabeth found an unexpected pleasure in seeing her husband surrounded by the people she loved. Darcy, who had once valued the quiet of his household above almost everything, discovered that he did not dislike the sound of Bennet laughter nearly as much as he had once supposed.

Mr. Bennet, upon learning that his family would occupy the house without paying rent, had observed that such an arrangement was scarcely sound business.

“You owe me none, sir,” Darcy had assured him.

“That seems a remarkably poor business arrangement.”

“Fortunately, I am not conducting business.”

“Papa,” Elizabeth had interrupted, “you cannot very well pay rent to your own daughter.”

The matter had been considered settled.

At last, when everything had been put in order, and Georgiana agreed to remain at Ramsgate a little longer, Darcy and Elizabeth set out for Pemberley.

***

Darcy looked up from the book he had not turned a page of for several minutes. “You are fidgeting again.”

Elizabeth looked down at her hands. “Am I?”

“You have adjusted your bonnet ribbon six times since I announced that we are nearing Lambton.”

She laughed. “I thought you were reading.”

“I am watching my wife.”

She coloured, though the smile remained. “I cannot help it. I had hoped marriage might cure me of that habit.”

“I see no reason why it should.”

“I believe I was just as restless when I first travelled towards Pemberley.”

Darcy looked at her with renewed interest. “Were you?”

“Only then I feared meeting its master.”

“And now?”

She glanced out of the carriage window. The familiar countryside was drawing nearer, and with it came the house she had once imagined only from the descriptions of others.

“Now I fear meeting its mistress.”

Darcy’s expression softened. “You have been its mistress for several weeks.”

“That does not mean I have learnt how to be her.”

He closed his book and placed it beside him. He leant forward. “You need not be anything other than yourself.”

Elizabeth looked at him. “That is easy for you to say. You have belonged to Pemberley all your life.”

“No.”