Page 11 of Butterfly 6, Phase 1

Those were big emotions for his little girl. “Damn, you’re not my baby anymore,” Ethic whispered, bemused.

“Daddyyy, see!” Bella huffed.

“A’ight, a’ight,” Ethic laughed. The rarity of an easy-going smile lightened his entire aura. There was nothing more beautiful than seeing a Black man smile.

“I really want to get out in the world. I have so many plans, but it also feels wrong to give up on Henny,” Bella stated. “But I don’t want to be like Mo, chasing boys and letting them drag me off course. I feel stupid for being hung up over a boy that’s locked up, especially because he got himself in that situation.”

“I’m going to try to have this conversation without the bias of being your father,” Ethic replied. “Henny’s going in a different direction than you. You have options. You can go fast, slow. You can hop off on an exit, explore different stops, until you determine your destination. Henny hit a dead end. You aren’t giving up on him, baby girl. He just doesn’t have anywhere to go. All he can do is sit still.”

“That’s not true, Daddy. Look at what I found,” Bella said eagerly as she reached into her nightstand and pulled out a stack of pamphlets and papers. “These are all options for him.” Bella handed them to Ethic, and he flipped through with one hand. “He can still be educated in there. He can still become something. If he does his time the right way, he can still…”

“Still what, baby girl?” Ethic interrupted as True stirred. She was tiny in his big hands, so small that she rested against one tattooed forearm. Ethic lifted her slightly, placing gentle kisses on her cheeks. He made a soothing sound with his lips, calming her as he inhaled her scent. True calmed.

“Still make it to the door, Daddy! He can still be a part of my life! I’m not ready for him to be that boy I used to know. He’s not my first crush. He’s not just some boy.”

“Only he is, baby girl,” Ethic sighed. He was so empathetic to this stage she was going through. Heartbreak was the worst feeling of the human experience, and the symptoms of it were all over his daughter. She was putting up a brave front, but he saw it clear as day. “I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but Henny is your first experience at love, and eventually, that always becomes just a person you used to know.”

“You don’t get it, Daddy; that wasn’t our plan,” Bella defended. “Those programs can help us make it.”

“These are good options for Hendrix, Bella. He’s lucky to have someone like you who is even looking up the options. He knows them, though. I’ve given them to him. I haven’t taken my hand off him. He’s not out of sight and out of mind, but these options are his ceiling, Bella. They’re your floor. And that’s fucked up. It is. It’s an elitist way to think, but I didn’t roll around in the dirt for years for my daughter to settle for less. You will have every opportunity. You will take advantage of every moment of entitlement. You will breeze through doors because of nepotism and capitalism. I’ve leveled those playing fields for you. Hendrix is in a bad bind, and if he’s lucky, time will eventually unhand him, but that future is too uncertain for you to bet on. You’re too young to bet on anybody but yourself. I know you love him, but what have I always told you about love?”

“To never love anyone more than I love myself.” Bella cited the lesson with ease. “And I don’t, Daddy. I swear, I don’t, but if I can get to my goals while reminding him that he is still worth something, what’s the harm in that? I can go to school. I can get my degrees. I’ll study for the bar…”

“The bar? You’ve decided to study law? What happened to biochemistry?” Ethic asked.

“Henny happened, and you happened, Daddy. When we were in court, everybody was white. The judges, the cops, the lawyers. It didn’t feel like there was even a chance for things to be fair. I want to be a lawyer, Daddy, because nobody is standing up for us,” Bella stated. “And eventually, I’ll become a judge, Supreme Court.”

Oh, the ways this little girl made Ethic’s heart swell.

“My baby, a Supreme Court justice, huh?” Ethic was amazed at how vast her mind stretched. Nothing about her school of thought was limited.

“If I can think it, I can be it, no?” Bella asked.

Bella knew exactly how to affirm her father. She may have been a girl, but she was the closest thing he had to a Junior. Eazy had his mother’s spirit. True was too young to call. Morgan was Raven Atkins all over again. But Bella? She was twin. She thought like him, talked like him, and she even had his mannerisms. He had done unimaginable things for her to walk in her legacy exactly like she planned to. She didn’t know any bounds. Anything was possible because Ethic had never told her no. He had afforded her everything she wanted and needed. Some called it spoiled. Ethic called it privileged. He wanted his children to be as entitled to opportunities and experiences as every other culture. If white kids by the last name Rockefeller could do it, his little Black Okafors would for damn sure be able to do it too. He would die ensuring such.

“You’re an amazing daughter, baby girl. You gon’ do all that and more.”

“And Henny will too. It’s going to be a little harder now, but I believe he can, Daddy,” Bella convinced. “I need you to trust me and believe in him, too. Can we go visit him? Please? I just need to tell him the new plan.”

“There’s a lot going on right now, Bella. Let me think about it. Allowing my teenage daughter to hang her hat on an inmate’s door and ride out time with him is a big ask. I need to soul-search about this one before I can give you an answer, baby.”

Bella nodded.

“K,” she whispered. He heard her disappointment. She wanted an immediate yes, and Ethic couldn’t give her that.

These damn girls and these fucking dope boys they choosing gon’ turn me gray, he thought miserably as stress crept up his spine.

He stood and carried True over to Bella’s bed. He leaned down to kiss her on the top of her head. “Get some sleep. I’ll be back for you guys in the morning. I love you.”

“Love you too, Daddy,” Bella returned.

She watched him walk out, and then she pulled the covers up over her shoulders and turned toward the wall. “God, I love my family, but please, please don’t let anything get in my way between now and college. Please let me make it to the door, and if Henny is supposed to be there too, please give me a sign,” Bella whispered. “And if I have to leave him behind, give me a sign for that too.” She adored everything about her home and her life, but she couldn’t deny that there was a trap that came along with growing up in this place. It seemed that no matter what, tragedy struck, and she knew it had everything to do with the type of man her father was and the game he belonged to. She had watched it ruin so many lives over the years. Raven Atkins. Morgan Atkins. Alani’s. Henny’s. Ethic’s. Even Lyric and Bianca had stories of siblings and cousins who were annihilated by circumstance. Bella may have been tucked in the lap of luxury outside the city’s limits, but her father was still the king of the streets. It didn’t matter that he had settled down, changed his life, and established legitimacy. It was a cloth that he was made from, and that cloth was stained. It wasn’t one he could simply take off. The legacy followed him. Through marriage, through being saved, through fatherhood. Ezra Okafor would always be Ethic, and his family would always be vulnerable. Whether it was God’s punishment or the residual consequences of his days as king, Newton’s law always applied. Bella desperately wanted out. After losing Henny, her entire aura was different. It would take a long time for the hole in her heart to mend. She was in a constant state of longing, and it was a cruel suffering that she had yet to share. Everyone around her had so much chaos unfolding. They all had their own problems to deal with. She knew her teenage boyfriend was low on the priority list in comparison to what their family was dealing with, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Bella just wanted out of this cycle of pain, and she was determined to do everything in her power to make sure she made it off to college in one piece. She would be sixteen soon and heading into the 11th grade. She only had two more years before she could forge a path of her own and do her father’s name the justice it deserved. As she stared down at the pamphlets in her hand, she hoped Henny could come with her. Only time would tell.

Chapter 5

3AM

“What You Need” by Tems