Page 48 of Katherine the Vixen

Possibly forever.

He was married to a woman who would only ever make him miserable, which was bad enough. But because of this, he could not do what he wanted, and be with the only person he thought could make him happy.

“I need to go,” he told her abruptly, knowing his control would not hold much longer if he stayed with Katherine. “Gwyn is waiting for me.”

It was only when he reached the bailey that Siaspar allowed his hands to unclench. Damnation.

Something would have to be done about his situation, or he would quickly go mad.

12

That night, Siaspar’s mind was made up.

Hearing Katherine repeat the Welsh words because she wanted to fit in with her new life, then telling him she did not resent him for what he had done to her, had made him see that he could not ignore his feelings any longer. His grandfather had always impressed on him the need to be true to oneself, despite the ambition to better one’s lot in life, and he meant to honor the man’s memory by doing just that.

Being true to oneself started with acknowledging what one wanted—and making sure to get it.

And so in the morning, he announced his decision to his stunned household.

“We are going to England.”

“England?” The hoarseness in Gwyn’s voice made Siaspar wonder if he had not inadvertently said “hell” instead of England.

“England,” he confirmed, seeing similar disbelief on his Welsh friends’ faces. The eyes of the English ladies present, however, had started to shine with hope.

“But…why?”

“I have a desire to see my wife’s country.”

It was possibly the first time Siaspar had publicly called Lady Malpas his wife, but no one seemed to remark upon the fact, least of all the lady herself; she was too busy being happy.

Alone, Katherine had betrayed no emotion. But she would be wondering what this sudden desire to go to a country where he would be treated like a second-class citizen would mean.

“We will leave before the end of the week, and go to Allerby Castle,” Siaspar carried on, addressing his wife. “Your brother’s home.”

“I am looking forward to it, my lord.” Lady Malpas smiled and, for the first time since their marriage, appeared almost pretty. Almost. “And I thank you for the thought.”

Siaspar tilted his head in acknowledgment of her effort at graciousness, but he was cold inside. Too little too late, he thought bitterly. And for entirely the wrong reasons. She was pleased because she would be allowed to leave the place she despised and return to civilization—as she saw it—and because she thought his decision was motivated by the urge to please her.

It was not.

“I wonder what kind of welcome I will get in your country?” he asked, intent on showing he was not fooled by her new meekness. Her face fell and, as he’d expected, the smile disappeared from her lips.

“I don’t know, my lord.”

“This answer, if not encouraging, is at least honest. I thank you for it.”

A contingent of Welsh people would hardly be given a hearty welcome, no matter how prestigious their titles were. And his was not the most prestigious, by far. But it mattered not, as he had a purpose in mind.

“Shall we start preparing then, my lord?” Gwyn asked, standing up.

“Yes.” Siaspar stood up in turn. “Let’s do that.”

Before leaving the hall, he could not resist one last glance at Katherine. Her eyes were glued to the window and her jaw was clenched. It was obvious that she was battling the need to cry.

Damnation! Of course, she was thinking he would go to England with his wife and leave her behind. How had he not thought to warn her in advance, like he had done once, and spare her the heartache of thinking she would miss the chance of seeing her beloved family?

There was no helping it now. Gwyn and his steward were in the middle of the room, waiting for him to lead the way. He walked through the door.