Page 83 of When the Laird Conquers

“I’ll raise Lizzy as if she’s me own. She’ll want for nothin’, lass,” he continued. “But nay, I cannae risk havin’ bairns of me own.”

“Is that what Katherine would want for you?” she asked, thinking of her mother and what she would make of her father’s destructive grief.

Gordon’s expression darkened, and she feared she had gone too far.

“I’ll never ken what she would want for me, Sunshine, but she’d have adored ye. Ye’d have been firm friends,” he replied sadly. “I didnae make that vow to make me life difficult or because of some vengeance or spite. I made it so that no one would end up bound to a monster like me. But I’ve tried to stay away, and I cannae help but want to keep ye for meself. I suppose that means they ought to add ‘selfish bastard’ to me entry in that almanac of yers.”

She could tell that he was trying to make her feel better, more reassured, but there was still a distance that defied the closeness of their embrace.

“You are no monster,” she told him. “But… couldn’t you break the other half of your vow and be selfish there too?” There was no hiding the hope in her voice.

He hugged her tighter. “Nay, lass. That vow wasnae made against beastliness, but against sufferin’. I willnae risk feelin’ pain like that again. Because if I had a bairn with ye and anythin’ were to happen, I’d burn Scotland to the ground. All of it. I’m riskin’ enough by acceptin’ Lizzy as me own.”

It wasn’t the answer she wanted, and it did not make it any better that she completely understood his perspective. If anything were to happen to Lizzy, she too would fly into a madness she could not even begin to imagine. Why, at the time of Christine’s death, she had almost throttled Edwin. Might have squeezed the life out of him if he had not been a good deal stronger than her and had shoved her away.

She turned in Gordon’s arms and rose on her tiptoes to press a quick peck to his lips. “You should leave, and I should retire to bed,” she said. “I cannot look ghoulish tomorrow.”

After stealing another kiss, Gordon finally released her and stepped away. “I’ll see ye at the altar, Sunshine.”

“I will be the one wearing this dress,” she said, managing a smile.

He nodded, a quiet chuckle rumbling in his chest. “Aye, and I fear it will be very distracting.”

With that, he left, closing the door behind him.

32

“Anythin’ to report?” Gordon asked above the choked sobs of the housekeeper, who sat in the front row of the chapel.

Happy tears, or so she had insisted all morning, before descending into fresh weeping again, a handkerchief pressed to her nose. Marcus sat at her side, with his arm around her and his other arm holding Lizzy. Although he too looked a little misty-eyed.

Keith shook his head. “No unexpected guests as of yet, me Laird, but I wouldnae be certain there’ll be no interruptions. If that English bastard kens about the cèilidh, ye can be certain he’s watchin’ and waitin’ somewhere.”

“Aye, I ken all that, which is why ye should be instructin’ the lads to search the forest again,” Gordon said, his patience gossamer thin.

“And miss the happy occasion? Nay, me Laird, I couldnae do that,” Keith replied with a grin. “Anyway, I already gave the instruction for search parties to scour the woods. Everyone is ready for a fight, me Laird. There’s a double guard on the battlements, a double guard outside the walls, and two soldiers stationed at every blind spot or weak point, as well as six men on the gates, checkin’ everyone that comes through.”

“Speaking of which.” He glanced back at the rather small congregation. “I assumed there’d be more guests. Are the folks that are comin’ to the cèilidh nae supposed to be attendin’ the weddin’?”

“Whatever for?” Gordon grumbled. “I daenae need this weddin’ to be a spectacle. They can congratulate us tomorrow at the festivities. Indeed, I’m sure they will be relieved that they didnae have to sit through the weddin’. They can just enjoy the entertainin’ part.”

Keith gave a low whistle. “I didnae realize ye were so severe on the institution of marriage. Do ye nae find this all ever so romantic?”

Gordon didn’t have time to answer, as the chapel doors opened with a faint whine of old hinges. He turned sharply, just in time to see his bride silhouetted by hazy sunlight, standing there like the angel she was. Although the temptation of her gown was rather more infernal.

It glittered as she began to walk down the aisle toward him, the sway of her hips reminding him of last night and how he’d gathered up all of that billowing fabric to pleasure her. He thought of the sweet heat between her thighs and just how close he had come to breaking the other half of his vow.

All because of that dress and the woman within it.

He couldn’t explain it, but seeing his bride in her wedding dress awakened a primal instinct within him. And it was happening again as he watched her intently, each step bringing her closer to him.

Her father was leading her, and to his amusement, Gordon saw that she had decided to forgo a bouquet of flowers. Instead, she held Snout against her breast, his sharp little teeth chewing on a bead.

Gordon met her eyes and felt his chest tighten as she smiled back at him. A smile so bright that it outshone the sun, and made him worry that he might be the reason it would fade one day.

Small though it was, the wedding felt utterly perfect to Agnes. There was no one superfluous in attendance, no great fuss of a wedding breakfast afterward, no dancing or awkward conversations to be had, and no need to be the center of attention.

Instead, she got to enjoy herself, speaking to her father, Iona, Marcus, and the village women who were giddy to be invited as honored guests for their part in helping protect Lizzy. She got to tend to her niece and comfort the fox cub, and she got to eat a delicious meal in the Lesser Hall without a worry about being judged.