Page 79 of The Crowned Queen

“Right. No problem.” Kai pulled out a handkerchief, wiping his face with a shaking hand. “Like we discussed, I’ll start with the ly’ithra rune. Then once that’s off I’ll see what I can do to unravel the sor’vael.”

“What about her ta’nara rune?” Loren asked. “Wouldn’t it be easier to remove them both now?”

“Ah—” Kai cleared his throat, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Maybe Araya should answer that question.”

Loren winced, squeezing her hand in silent apology. “Of course.” He shifted in his seat, turning to face her fully. “What I meant to ask,” he said carefully, “was if you wanted to have the ta’nara rune removed at the same time. Others have said it’s less painful to do them both at once⁠—”

Araya’s heart broke in her chest.

“It’s alright,” she said softly, squeezing his hand gently. “That one is already gone.”

“Oh.” Loren’s throat bobbed, his voice painfully even. “I see.”

But his grip on her hand had turned to iron, clinging to her like she might be torn away from him at any moment. And Araya didn’t need the bond to feel the weight of all the grief and guilt written on his face. She might have survived, but they both carried scars now.

Kai blew out a long breath. “Alright,” he said, pulling the first needle from his kit. “Let’s get it done, then.”

Araya stiffened as the first needle pierced her skin, pain lancing up her arm. The fingers of her other hand flexed in Loren’s grip, his magic flowing into her and lighting her up from the inside out as Kai dragged the needle across her skin. The acrid stench of burnt aether and blood filled her nose, but Araya bit down hard on the inside of her cheek, determined not to make a sound.

Still, her breath was coming hard by the time the rune finally dimmed and faded from her skin. She shivered, sweat plastering the thin fabric of her shirt against her back and ribs. Loren’s hand remained locked around hers, his thumb digging almost painfully into the back of her hand.

“It’s gone.” Kai set his needle aside, wiping the blood from her skin with the corner of the cloth. The spot where the ly’ithra rune had been carved into her all those years ago looked strangely bare now, only raw flesh left behind. “We can stop now if you want.”

Araya heard what he didn’t say—the next one will be worse—but she shook her head. “I just—” she shivered, her voice breaking. “I just want it all gone.”

“Alright,” Kai said reluctantly. “You’ll have to unbutton your shirt.”

Araya took her hand back from Loren, fumbling to undo the buttons. But her hands were shaking too badly, the buttons slipping through her fingers again and again until she wanted to scream. She was not weak. She wouldn’t be defeated by a shirt⁠—

And then Loren was there.

His fingers moved deftly, baring her chest button by button until the fabric gaped open enough to reveal the ugly, dark lines carved between her breasts. He stared at it for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he leaned forward, brushing a chaste kiss across her lips.

“Let me hold you for this one,” he murmured. “Please.”

She nodded, her heart pounding as he slid in behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, careful not to scrape her healing back as he settled her against his chest. Araya leaned back against him, suddenly absurdly grateful to have him there.

“That’s perfect,” Kai said. He moved his chair forward, leaning in closer. “I’m just going to touch it,” he explained, magic already sparking at his fingertips as he reached toward her. “I need to see what we’re working with⁠—”

But the moment his fingers brushed the mark on her chest, the rune flared to life.

It was nothing like the ly’ithra rune. Araya couldn’t even scream, the sound caught in her throat as her back arched, every muscle pulled tight. Loren’s grip tightened, his lips moving against the back of her neck, but Araya couldn’t hear what he was saying over the ringing in her ears. Gods save her, it hurt so much⁠—

Her stomach heaved. Sound rushed back as she retched violently into the basin Serafina had shoved under her chin. She vomited again and again, Loren’s grip on her waist tight as her whole body shook uncontrollably.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered hoarsely, over and over, his lips pressed against her shoulder. “I’ve got you. Stay with me.”

Finally, Araya collapsed against Loren’s chest, trembling and breathless. Her throat burned, her whole body slick with sweat.

“Did you get it?” she rasped.

Kai sagged in his own chair, sweat darkening the collar of his shirt. “No,” he said, his breath coming hard. “I’m so sorry, Araya. It’s too deeply ingrained now. When I did it…well, I thought we’d get you out sooner.”

For a moment, Araya didn’t think she’d understood him correctly. “But you said⁠—”

“I said I might be able to undo some of it.” Kai mopped his face with the sodden handkerchief. “But this is carved into your soul, not your body. I can’t cut it out without cutting out parts of you. Parts I think you’d like to keep.”

“So that’s it?” Fresh tears welled in her eyes, dripping down her cheeks before she could blink them away. “I have to live with this for the rest of my life?”