Page 84 of The Crowned Queen

Araya hesitantly shook the other female’s hand. “If you’ll have me.”

“Of course we will,” Caela said, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Everyone is welcome.”

“I thought I’d come too,” Loren said casually.

Araya’s stomach tightened. If he came he’d be checking on her the whole time. Ready to step in the moment she so much as stumbled. She wasn’t sure how much more of it she could bear.

Something must have flickered across her face, because Caela made a thoughtful noise. “No,” she said briskly. “I’ve changed my mind. It’s far too difficult to gossip about you if you’re there.” Her grin took the sting out of her words as she jerked a thumb back toward the cottages. “Go find something kingly to do instead.”

Loren’s grip on her waist tightened slightly. “I don’t⁠—”

“We do have those logistics to go over,” Finn said. “Caela won’t take her far.”

“Well—” Loren finally looked down at her, the worry in his green eyes twisting something in her chest. “Alright,” he said finally. “If you’re sure. Just don’t overdo it.”

Araya forced a smile, the porridge she’d eaten turning into a stone in her stomach. She could still feel his eyes on her as she stepped away, letting Caela lead her after the chattering knot of fae already making their way into the forest.

After so many weeks of not being able to feel him at all, she should have been grateful for even the pale impression she could feel of him with the sor’vael runes still in place. But instead she felt further away from him than ever before—like they hadn’t found their way back to each other after all, and maybe they never would.

“Well,” Caela said once the clearing had fallen behind them and only birdsong filled the air, “he’s a little obsessed with you, isn’t he?”

“Ah—” Araya cleared her throat, not quite sure how to answer. “Well, he is my mate.”

“I think it’s romantic,” the younger fae with copper hair and green eyes said. “How did you find out he was your mate? Did you just know?”

“Um…” Araya flushed. “Well. He was still a prisoner when I met him. He forced me to go with him when he escaped—he drugged me.” She stared down at the ground, not quite able to meet any of their eyes. “I didn’t wake up until we were halfway across the Shadowed Sea. I wasn’t very happy when I found out he was my mate.”

“But you’re together now?” the younger fae pressed. “What happened?”

“Brynn,” Naeva scolded. “That’s rude.”

“No—it’s fine.” Araya cleared her throat. “It’s a natural question.” For a heartbeat she was back on that battlefield, cold mud soaking through the knees of her breeches as she leaned over his fallen body, their bond guttering out like a candle in a gale. “I claimed him when he almost died,” she said, proud that her voice didn’t shake. “It took me such a long time to get there…I was terrified it was too late.”

“But he lived?” Brynn asked breathlessly.

Naeva snorted. “Obviously.”

“He did,” Araya forced a tiny smile. “We only got a little bit of time together before the Arcanum captured me. But it was the happiest I’ve ever been.”

That’s why it could never have lasted. People like her and Loren—they didn’t get to be blissfully happy. Not like that.

Brynn sighed dreamily. “See?” She elbowed Naeva. “That’s the kind of love I want.”

“Oh, please,” the silver-haired fae scoffed. “There’s more to life than romance⁠—”

“And if any of us are going to survive long enough for grand love stories,” Caela cut in, “we’re going to need to know how to fight. So let’s get back to work on hand to hand.”

Brynn laughed. “You’re one to talk,” she said. “How is Kai?”

“That’s enough out of you,” Caela waved her off, but her cheeks were pink. “Face off with Naeva today. I’ll work with Araya.”

The two other females broke off, still laughing as they squared up against each other. They had clearly done this before, falling into a rhythm of attack and parry with little trouble. Araya watched them, her throat strangely thick. She’d always thought fae who defied the Arcanum were mad. There was nothing any one of them could do to stand against them, so any effort not spent on creating a life you could survive was wasted.

But while she’d been petitioning for special permission to study at the Aetherium and apprenticing to Jaxon Shaw, they had been working together in the shadows. Fighting back. Resisting.

“Araya?” Caela’s voice cut gently through her thoughts. “Do you want to pair with me? I’d be happy to show you the basics.”

“Oh—” Araya laughed nervously. “Serafina gave me some stretches to do. I thought I’d stick with that to start.”