Page 230 of Coal Hearts

I felt...healthy.

Energised.

Reborn.

No sickness. No churning gut. No reprimanding inner voice telling me to be better.

I’d tried to be better.

I’d tried so fucking hard.

But this was better.

Giving in.

Going home.

Becoming who I truly was.

It was motherfucking liberating.

Blinking slightly hazy eyes, I focused on the sparkling jewel bound to a cross before me. Whatever I’d felt for this slave? The overwhelming crush I’d harboured? The nonsense belief I could save her...all faded into a different sort of conquest.

I cringed at my embarrassing past and all my struggles.

I turned my back on the man I could never be.

My past self fucked me off.

His patheticness.

His weakness.

His desperation to be normal.

Fuck that.

Why be normal when I could be this?

This powerful. This free. This whole.

Never again.

Never fucking again would I kill myself trying to be something I wasn’t.

And it’s all thanks to her.

Letting my cock go, I traced the dagger along her pretty cheekbone. Such flawless skin. Such an angelic colour as if she were borne from sunlight and butterscotch. “Ah, Ily...” My hand was steadfast and stable as I scribed an H over her cheek—not cutting, merely autographing her with invisible ownership. “You freed me, little nightmare. Your silly little kick unlocked every part of me.”

She stretched on her tiptoes, tipping her head back as if she could escape my knife. “This isn’t you. It’s not.” She squeezed her eyes closed and shook her head, her collar jingling on its hook. “You don’t have wings. You aren’t some son of darkness. I’m hallucinating, and this will all be over soon—”

“It’s already over.” I dragged the dagger along her jawline. “The moment you kicked me, it was all over.”

“Don’t.” She strained from my blade, lengthening her neck, revealing the small cut I’d already made and inviting a thousand more. “Please. Stop. Please, please stop.”

Dropping my head, I pressed my mouth to the wound I’d caused. I tongued the cut, my stomach snarling for sustenance. To taste her. Truly taste her in a way I’d never tasted anyone.

I’d never gone that far, despite my dreams and longings.