Page 255 of Coal Hearts

An earthquake shook me.

A soul-shake.

A heart-break.

The crack became a chasm.

And my spirit fell out.

Screaming.

I gagged on despair and fear and loss. Horror waterfalled and flooded me until my faltering heartbeat roared in my ears.

I reached for my pendant.

The flower of life stone slipped elegantly off the pile of gems.

Slipping, slipping, as if it’d been waiting for me to claim it, and my inner breaking destroyed it.

With a sharp wail, I lurched through the illusion of the dragon and ran headfirst into crippling, clotting agony.

With quaking hands, I snatched up the stone.

I ran my thumb over the emblem that I knew better than my own face.

I saw Krish’s smile as he gave it to me.

Felt his unconditional love as he secured it around my throat.

Heard his wise, quiet voice telling me I was special. So special.

And I broke.

I didn’t cry.

Didn’t cry.

I sobbed.

Falling to my knees, I pressed the last piece of home to my chest and splintered.

A wounded noise fell out of me.

Breathless and tragic.

A gasp, a rock, a gag, a grunt.

And then, I was nothing but tears.

Gushing wet, ugly, violent tears.

I wasn’t aware of hands tugging me away from the shelves.

I wasn’t conscious of an embrace given by the one slave who’d done his best to save me.

I lost myself to grief.

I cried and cried and cried.