Page 436 of Coal Hearts

The axe grew heavy.

I backed deeper into the shadows as my instincts roared into power.

As one Master came with a snarl and another moved to take his place, I fell.

Deeper into darkness.

Harder into sickness.

I no longer knew who I was.

Boy or man. Saint or sinner. Good or bad.

Watching these men...seeing myself in them...it enraged me, corrupted me, gutted me, redeemed me.

Why was I fighting it?

Why exist in such suffering?

I could be free if I—

Stop it.

Wedging a fist in my belly, I rode out the sadistic urges.

You need to get out.

I needed sunlight to banish this nightmare.

I needed open skies to resurrect me from this crypt.

I need...

I need—

Blood.

And pain.

And her.

I crashed against the wall as my floodgates smashed wide.

My teeth ached. My senses heightened. I lost myself to a creature with no name, no rules, no master.

Ily.

I have to find Ily.

I’d made the mistake of walking in darkness.

Of killing in darkness.

We were one and the same now.

Bonded by all the bad things I had done.

While Masters raped and celebrated, I stared into the black, and the black stared back, and it was over.