Page 491 of Coal Hearts

I pressed my forehead to the floor as every sin throttled me with violence.

Sickness gushed, but I swallowed it down.

Sweat ran over my skin, soaking into my blood-soaked bandage.

I couldn’t stop the crash.

Couldn’t catch a breath or stop hearing Ily calling me Hen or me telling her I loved her every time I said her damn name.

I love you.

I love you.

Fuck—

Curling my fingers into the dark copper carpet, I willed the episode to pass.

It only grew worse.

Greyness snuck over my vision.

Weakness stole through every bone, and my body tipped with warning.

I had seconds.

Mere seconds and I didn’t want to pass out on the floor.

Staggering to my feet, I turned off the bedside light, then stumbled, shuffled, and fell through the dark to my side of the bed.

I tumbled beside Ily.

I grunted in pain.

Darkness grabbed me and sucked me deep.

* * * * *

“It’s okay, Hen. Truly.” Ily cupped my cheek and pressed her nose to mine. “You can say it. Here...I’ll teach you.” She smiled and gave me the sweetest, softest kiss. “Don’t think about what the words mean, and just say it...I love—”

“I can’t.” I groaned against her lips.

“You won’t, you mean.”

“No...I literally can’t.” Rearing back, I caught her sunshine-shining eyes. “I can’t say I love you when I’m not worthy of love.”

Her face softened. “Don’t you think I should be the judge of that?” Kissing my eyes, my cheeks, my forehead, she whispered, “I see what you are now. You did come for us. You’re going to free us. I know it—”

I choked and shot upright.

The dream shattered, leaving me blinking in a pitch-dark room.

My entire body screeched with discomfort.

I hated that Peter’s words kept haunting me but in Ily’s voice.

“I see what you are now. You did come for us. You’re going to free us. I know it—”

The rush of sickness coated my tongue; I launched out of bed. Wrapping my good arm around my bad ribs, I tried to hold my pain together as I half-ran, half-staggered to the bathroom, and flipped up the lid on the toilet.