Page 536 of Coal Hearts

Digging my fingers into my eyes, I highlighted every fucking word I’d written so far and deleted them. Every comma, paragraph, and memory. Hours upon hours’ worth of transcribing all gone.

Pointless.

Ridiculous.

Agonising.

I didn’t want to remember anymore.

I wanted peace.

The longer I stayed here with Ily trying to seduce me and the castle whispering I was sane instead of twisted, the more I sank deeper and deeper.

Every part of me was heavy.

Lethargy turned into quicksand, clinging to my limbs every time I tried to move, to think, to talk. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d spoken out loud. I’d let my fingers do all my speaking and my mind—

I’ve had enough.

Slamming the laptop closed, I swooped to my feet and stalked out of the library.

I was done with the past.

Done with everything.

I wanted out.

I needed to run before I lost my fucking mind.

Stalking up the stairs, I ignored the opulence surrounding me. My fingers almost dented the laptop as I took the steps two at a time and practically ran down the corridor.

Exploding into my chamber, Ily squeaked and leapt back from where she’d been rummaging in the wardrobe. Hugging a baggy beige jumper that seemed to be the only thing of substance Victor had ordered for her, she backed up with eyes wide. The sight of her clothes hanging with mine. The fact that we’d been living together for weeks. That I still wanted to hurt her even now...

Christ!

Throwing the laptop onto the bed, I bolted into the bathroom and slammed the door.

Grabbing the sink, I breathed hard.

The screams as my father molested his current woman.

The whippings, the bleedings, the rapes—

Panic latched around my throat.

My vision went hazy.

That’s inside me.

That curse would never stop.

Until the day I died, the madness that’d lived within him would live within me, and the only way to stop it was to kill the host. Just like Q did back then. He’d shot our father in cold blood, then turfed us out of his inherited estate all because he knew.

He knew he’d end up having to kill us if we stayed because we were all infected—

I gagged.

That damn fucking nausea was back.