Page 21 of Rookie Attraction

“Yeah, but like I said to them, I’ll cope. I made my decision, and I’ll deal with it.”

“Do you date much?” Finn asks, and when I look over, his face is flushed. “Jeez, I don’t know why I asked that. Sorry. Ignore me. It’s none of my business. My mouth is running ahead of my brain again.”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind,” I pause, wondering why I feel this sense of relief. “There was a woman back in Chicago I used to see throughout the year. She was fun and I took her to parties and events, stuff like that. But other than sex we really had nothing in common. No feelings involved. As for guys, well, all of that was on the DL. And despite having had many partners, I’ve never been in a relationship. I think I’d like to meet someone, but with my work and the traveling, it’s not easy. Still, watching Damien fall in love made me realize I want that someday. A person to call my own, maybe even a family.”

Now I’m the one rambling.

“What about you?” I ask.

“Me? Not much. I had a girlfriend in high school but nothing since then, no dates or anything else,” Finn admits. “In college I stayed focused on hockey. And I think I’ll continue that way, at least for now.”

From what Finn’s told me so far, I get the feeling he might be demi, but it’s not for me to bring up. Finn starts digging into his meal again, so I silence the questions in my mind.

When we’re done eating, I load the dishwasher, and we make our way back to the sofa to talk more hockey strategies. It feels like no time passes, but when I glance at my phone again, I realize it’s almost midnight.

“Shit, it’s late. I better get going,” Finn announces. “But before I do, do you think we could exchange numbers? I don’t really know anyone else in the city and⁠—”

“Of course.”

We switch phones, and after our numbers are exchanged, Finn slides his tablet into his bag. He slowly stands up, stretching his arms over his head, and my eyes follow the hem of his T-shirt. Funny how I didn’t notice until now that he’s got an eight-pack, covered in a constellation of freckles and a smattering of auburn hair. Whatever, he’s fit, like everyone else I’ve played with. It’s not a big deal. After all, I’ve already seen his body in the locker room.

“Thanks for tonight, Sel.”

My gaze snaps to his.

“The feedback and the food,” Finn continues. “Plus the company. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, rookie. It’s been cool to hang out.”

I’m downplaying, because yeah, talking shop and sharing a meal with Finn has turned out to be exactly what I need. I can admit that to myself even if I don’t want to admit it out loud.

I get up and walk Finn over to the foyer, holding the door open.

“And hey,” Finn adds before he leaves. “If I don’t see you around the building, I’ll catch up with you next week.”

“Absolutely. Rest up.”

“Night, Sel.”

“Good night, Finn.”

Instead of closing the door, I step into the hallway and watch him walk away. When he gets to the elevators, he turns and offers a wide smile and a wave. For the first time since my trade, I think that maybe, just maybe, I’m going to be alright.

Chapter Five

FINN

THE FOLLOWING WEEK, FIRST GAME (OCTOBER)

Growing up on a farm, I worked my ass off, all day, every day. Thank fuck, because NHL training camp—even though I only experienced one week of it—was brutal. Brutal, but worth it, because I received the most incredible news of my life, an offer from the NY Rush. I did my absolute best, and I got the contract. Sel even referred me to his agent, and with everything signed, I’m ready for my first professional game.

Which happens to be tonight…

I keep asking myself, is this real? What if camp was a fluke? What if I can’t freaking do this? What if I screw up and make a fool of myself out there in front of all those people?

Nerves hit me fast and furiously, and a queasy wave in the pit of my stomach makes me wonder if my dinner is about to make a reappearance. Sitting in front of my stall, my hands shake so hard I can barely get my skates on, never mind tie my laces. I’m sure every rookie goes through this, so I remind myself that this kind of anxiety is normal.

Isn’t it?