Page 113 of Falling for Mr. October

“Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks.

I peer at her face, at the messy, growing-out bangs she has tucked behind her ear, and her bun, and those lovely dark eyes of hers, which look like bottomless pools a man would be lucky to drown in, and I think:

Yes. Yes, you’re beautiful, and I wouldn’t mind looking at you forever.

I don’t want to grow old, but I don’t think I’d mind it so much with her. I wouldn’t mind seeing how her face changes with the seasons and years.

It’s a crazy thought, and yet…I don’t bury it or try to throw it away. I cling to it, feeling it out.

I don’t want to leave Bianca. Whatever my life becomes, moving forward, I want it to be intertwined with hers.

“It is beautiful,” I say, my voice low and husky.

“You haven’t even looked.”

She laughs, and I realize that of course she was talking about the sunset—the very reason she asked us to join them on the wagon.

I look up at the descending sun surrounded by layers of pink and orange and dusky blue, lowering toward the leaves’ big show and the softly curling slopes of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

“That’s pretty good too,” I admit.

I’m not surprised when Bianca knocks on my wall at night after everyone is in bed—and she mustn’t be surprised to find me waiting for her.

We sneak out through the window, even though the nonnas are most likely asleep.

We steal away and walk to the orchard, where we pick and share an apple before I make love to her on the fallen leaves.

The next morning I get another email from Janine, sent just past two in the morning.

Giovanni,

I know you love me. You can’t love a woman for that long and then just erase her from your mind.

I want to be with you, and I know you still want that with me. If I’m willing to give up my marriage, then giving up this woman is nothing.

I’ve got some great ideas for what you can do next. Please, please let me be a part of this.

Yours,

Janine

The bitter part of my heart wants to tell her to fuck off, but I know what it’s like to want something you’re not supposed to have. In her case, it’s the career of her ex-boyfriend. In mine, it’s the woman everyone thinks I’m in a serious relationship with.

So I rein myself in and respond,

Janine—

I hope you can find happiness with your HUSBAND.

I’m sorry if it’s hard to hear this, but I never felt for you what I feel for Bianca. It wasn’t right between us, and it’s only now that I’m realizing how wrong it was.

Take care of yourself,

Giovanni

Christopher’s article publishes later that day. There’s nothing unexpected, thank Christ, although he does include a funny description of the mayor as being “as eager as a golden retriever.”

I also get an email from the It’s Not Gossip reporter saying she’s looking into interviewing another couple of people back in Maine, but she’ll be in touch with a pub date later.