Page 139 of The Devil’s Lair

She looks like she was born in the saddle, whereas I’m over here nursing a cup of coffee and giving Pepper, the giant beast Tobias is trying to persuade me to ride, the side-eye.

Pepper isn’t bothered. She’s too busy nibbling grass and flicking away flies with her tail.

I made a promise—one I’m having serious regrets about. Now that Isla is becoming more and more confident with her riding, Tobias wants us to go out on horseback as a family. In a moment of weakness, I capitulated to his pleading and said I’d try.

Stupid third orgasm quashing logic. Too late now. I can’t go back on what I agreed to, as much as I wish I could.

Tobias talks to Isla in a low, steady voice I can’t quite hear while adjusting her feet in the stirrups and her hands on the reins. She listens intently, taking in everything he’s telling her, face rapturous. He glances over and catches me watching. For a few seconds, he holds my gaze with that small smile he reserves for me, then returns his attention to Isla.

He leads her in a wide arc that brings them closer to where I’m standing, making my heart almost flatline as I realize this is it. My turn.

Stupid, Rebecca. So bloody stupid.

“Well done, pumpkin. You’re a natural.” Unlike me. I like my feet right where they are, in contact with the solid ground.

Isla beams at me.

Tobias holds up his hand, and she high-fives him. “A right little horsewoman we have on our hands here. She’ll soon be cantering and then we might try her over a few jumps.”

I swallow. “Jumps?” A firm shake of my head precedes a sharp, “No.”

“I was jumping at her age.”

“You have a death wish.”

He gives me one of his crooked smiles I can never resist and tucks a stray wisp of hair behind my ear. “No one is making you to do this. If you’d rather not, don’t. It’s your choice.”

And right there is the problem, because a part of me does want to give it a go. The idea of Tobias and Isla disappearing for hours on end as they explore Oakleigh’s extensive grounds on horseback while I stay behind at the house causes a twinge of envy to take root. And what about when she’s older and going to events, which I can’t go to because of an irrational fear with no basis in reality.

“Mama, up.” She points at Pepper.

Ah, shit. I can’t disappoint my daughter, no matter how scared I am.

Tobias unlatches the gate and takes my hand, squeezing lightly. “I’ll be with you every step of the way. Pepper is as docile as they come. She’ll look after you.”

“Hmm.”

He squeezes again. “Trust me. I’d never let anything happen to you.”

I do trust him. It’s Pepper I don’t trust. Still, I follow him to the other side of the paddock, surprised he doesn’t comment on how loud my knees are knocking together.

“Here.” Tobias holds out a piece of carrot to me.

“Funny time to offer me a snack.”

He throws back his head and laughs. “It’s not for you, it’s for Pepper. Hold out your palm like this.” He demonstrates. “Then offer it to her.”

“What if she bites me?”

“She won’t. Go on, Wren, give it a try.”

I do as he says, and Pepper’s soft muzzle tickles my palm as she takes the treat and crunches, the bit in her mouth jangling as she eats.

“See, was that so bad?”

“Giving her a piece of carrot is a little different to getting up there, fifty feet from the ground.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Slight exaggeration.” After pulling down the stirrups, he holds Pepper by the reins, then reaches a hand out to me. “I’ll give you a leg up. Left foot in the stirrup.”