Page 64 of His Fake Fiancé

Jake tightened his grip on Claire’s hand. He was probably squeezing too hard, but he couldn’t get his fingers to relax. She didn’t seem to mind, because she didn’t say anything, or try to shake her hand out of his hold.

“Because the child in this case is so very young, it means more issues need to be taken into consideration. After the initial hearing, mediation, and the court appointed evaluation, the court has decided to grant joint legal custody to both Mr. Callahan and Ms. Morales, but sole physical custody to Ms. Morales, the mother. Mr. Callahan will have visitation rights. The visitation schedule is to be determined through the Child and Family Services office at a later date, as is the child support payment schedule.”

Claire gasped at the same time Jake’s heart froze solid in his chest. He stared straight ahead, his gaze unfocused. His brain was still trying to piece together what had just happened. He felt numb, his entire body heavy.

Someone was crying. Somehow, he managed to turn his head. Gina was crying, her face buried against Josh’s shoulder.

“The court orders Mr. Callahan to relinquish physical custody of Olivia Morales Callahan to Ms. Morales.” The judge banged her gavel to indicate the end of the ruling.

It felt like she’d clobbered Jake in the chest with her gavel.

Trey leaned over. “We’ll fight it. There’s got to be something we can find, something to show—”

“It’s fine,” Jake said, his voice coming out as a single, flat note. Even though he’d tried to hide it, the mediator, and the evaluator, and the court had figured out what a loser he was. There was no other reason for them to take Olivia away. They didn’t think he was capable, which wasn’t surprising, because he was barely capable of taking care of himself. What had ever made him think he could actually take care of Olivia? He was a fuck up through and through.

He pushed to his feet. His body still felt numb, but at least it was moving. He turned, his gaze zeroing in on his daughter. Mama, Grace, and Simon were all on their feet. Both Grace and Mama’s eyes were glassy. Simon had his hands stuffed in his pockets, his gaze on the floor. Mama was rubbing a still sleeping Olivia’s back.

His heart splintered, like a log being hit with an axe. The pain he’d felt when he’d watched Gina looking at Olivia was nothing compared to this.

Without realizing he was going to move, he found himself walking toward his family. He kept his gaze on his daughter, everything around him falling away. He reached for Olivia, cradled her against his chest. She blinked open her eyes and looked up at him, a big smile spreading across her little bow of a mouth.

The hurt spread throughout his entire body. He tried to find the numb, a trick he sometimes used when things were rough, and he didn’t want to deal, but he couldn’t grab hold of it. Each time he reached out, it slipped through his fingers.

He cradled the baby against his chest, kissed the top of her head. She smelled like baby shampoo and sunshine. “I’m s-sorry, P-p-peanut,” he whispered, his voice sounding like he’d just swallowed a handful of gravel. “I’m so s-s-sorry.”

The bailiff came over to him, but stayed off to the side, just at the edge of Jake’s line of vision. Jake’s throat thickened and his eyes burned.

“Mr. Callahan?” The bailiff stepped forward, his voice low but insistent.

Jake nodded and kissed the top of his daughter’s head one more time. And then he did the hardest thing he’d ever had to do in his life. He handed her over to the bailiff.

His fingers didn’t want to co-operate. For a split second, the idea of grabbing her and running crossed his mind. They could go somewhere where no one would find them.

And then reality crashed back in, and he realized it was a stupid idea. Not only would it hurt Olivia for them to be on the run, always looking over their shoulder, but it was the selfish choice. It was him only thinking about himself, and not about all the people who would be hurt by him being a fool. Mama. His brothers. Grace. Gina. Claire. He forced his fingers to let go.

Olivia made a sound of protest and reached for him. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Everything was unravelling. He was unravelling. He felt his eyes fill with tears. Tears he couldn’t stop.

His family surrounded him. Simon clamped his hand on Jake’s shoulder. A hand pressed on his back, which must be Grace. Mama wrapped her arms around one of his, giving a squeeze. He gave her a quick glance, but his gaze bounced back to the bailiff and Olivia, who was fussing, unsure about what was happening. He wanted to soothe her, to tell her everything was alright, but the words got trapped in his chest along with his breath.

The bailiff handed the baby to Gina, who was full out sobbing now. Olivia was unhappy, her fussing growing, along with her voice. Gina pulled her in close, rubbing her back to try and soothe her. Josh wrapped his arm around Gina’s shoulder and bent his head to say something to the baby. She stopped squirming and looked up at him, and then her mom.

He couldn’t do this. He needed to get out of here. Now. He patted Mama’s hand and untangled himself from her tight grip. He glanced around. Everyone was clustered around him.

“Jake, honey?” Mama’s voice was rough, her eyes glassy.

“I’m f-f-fine.” He shook his head, his guts feeling like they were being shredded. “I-I j-just n-n-need to b-b-be alone f-for a b-b-bit.”

Mama nodded and reached for Grace’s hand. Simon wrapped an arm around Mama’s shoulders and she sagged back against him.

Claire stood just outside of his circle, a single tear slipping down her cheek. The ache in his chest exploded, morphing into something dark and excruciating.

Trey stood off to the side, gripping his briefcase with both hands. He nodded at Jake, who found his feet moving forward without conscious thought.

“Thank you,” he said, thrusting his hand out.

Trey shook it. “No problem,” he said, sounding weary. “Not that I was much help. I’m really sorry, Jake.”

Jake shook his head. “It’s okay.” But it wasn’t. It wasn’t okay. And it would probably never be okay again. He thrust his hand through his hair. “I h-h-have to g-get home and p-p-pack up Olivia’s st-st-stuff.” He didn’t even care about the stupid stutter anymore. He didn’t care about anything anymore.