Page 89 of His Saving Grace

The silence stretched tight between them. His ridiculously handsome face was blank. She hated not knowing what he was thinking.

Bella popped her front legs on the bed, trying to get closer, jostling everything. Grace winced and sucked in a quick, painful breath.

“Bella, down.” Mason rushed over and grabbed the dog by the collar, steering her back to the floor. “Sorry,” he said, rubbing the dog’s head.

“It’s okay.” Grace toyed with the blanket. “You changed her name?”

He shoved his free hand in the pocket of his jeans. “Bella suits her.”

Silence engulfed them again, somehow even denser than before. Why was this so bloody awkward?

“Grace, I’m—”

“Mason, I don’t—”

She closed her eyes and took another deep, slightly painful breath. Jesus, be an adult already, will you? She opened her eyes and patted the bed beside her. “Sit down, please.”

His eyebrows arrowed down, a couple of adorable little wrinkles springing up between them. She wanted to run her fingers across them, smooth them out. But she didn’t dare. He lowered himself slowly, barely balancing a butt cheek just on the edge of the bed, and leaned his cane against the bedside table.

Her lips twitched. He was so damn sweet, he was going to give her a cavity. Except he’d also more or less broken her heart. That doused her delight real quick.

He kept his gaze on Bella, scratching just behind her ear. The stitches had been removed from the cut on his cheek, but he was still going to have a faint scar.

The urge to pull him into her arms, to hold him, to bury her face against his chest and not let go, overwhelmed her. She clenched the blanket in her fists to keep from giving in. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing, and then looked at her. The uncertainty and sadness in his eyes made her throat throb.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice quiet and thick.

She opened her mouth to tell him it was okay, but then closed it. It wasn’t okay. “You hurt me.” Her voice wavered, even though she tried hard to keep it even, steady.

“I know.” He scratched the back of his neck. A strip of pink highlighted his sharp cheekbones. “And it’s something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you. Knowing that I’m the one who caused you pain guts me. I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Mason—”

“No, Grace, don’t say anything. Don’t absolve me of this. Pulling away from you, staying away from you, when you were hurting and confused, was a shitty thing to do. And all because I was…”

He looked down at the floor, the tension in him making her ache in sympathy.

“You were what, Mason?” She gave in to the need to touch him and brushed his hair back off his forehead. He leaned into the touch, the movement almost infinitesimal. She didn’t think he even realized he’d done it. Her heart gave a tender beat, one that had nothing to with her injuries.

“I was so scared, Grace.” The anguish in his voice made the ache in her throat spread through the rest of her. “I came so close to losing you, and after everything that’s happened over the last year, I panicked. If I had lost you, I honestly don’t know if I would have survived it. I didn’t know what to do, and I handled it badly. It was not my finest moment. I’m so sorry. I know I keep saying that, but it’s true. And I hope that someday, you’ll be able to forgive me.”

The back of her eyes burned with a fresh bout of tears, but she blinked them back furiously. She would not cry, not now.

He sighed, heavy and deep, and tucked his chin to his chest. “Shit, I need to stop doing stuff to you that I need to keep apologizing for.”

The words were so unexpected, she barked a laugh, which made her chest ache. She made a pained sound. He reached out, but before touching her, he stopped. His hand stayed suspended for a heartbeat, and then he dropped it back to his side.

So, that was the problem. She wrapped her fingers around his wrist and lifted his hand, placing his palm on her chest, right over her heart. “I’m not going to break, Mason. I promise.”

He closed his eyes and lowered his head again, his shoulders rolling forward. But he didn’t pull his hand away. “I’ll never forget how you looked, bleeding and broken, and there was nothing I could do to help you. I was so scared I was going to lose you.” His voice was fractured, jagged at the edges, the words spilling out like he couldn’t hold them in any longer.

She brushed her thumb across the back of his hand, let the heat of his skin soak into her soul. Her heart took up an erratic, pounding beat, and she knew he could feel it. “I’m okay, Mason. I’m here and I’m whole and you didn’t lose me. I’m right here.”

He blew out a shaky breath and lifted his head to look at her. “So, I guess you can head back to Portland now, huh? Back to your old life?”

The words were low, rough, ragged, almost like they were torn from somewhere deep inside him.

“Maybe?”