Page 83 of His Secret Wish

She laughed and got out of the SUV. Antonio was right, she needed to tell Owen the truth and let whatever was going to happen, happen. Throw herself into the flames and hope she didn’t get scorched. And she refused to get her hopes up. She’d fucked things up by lying to him, both about the hysterectomy, and then again this week, about how she felt. No way was he going to forgive her. But that was okay, because at least she’d know she tried.

Wouldn’t make it hurt any less, but she was strong and resilient. Even if she’d forgotten that bit about herself recently. She’d already survived a boat load of shit that the universe dumped on her. She could definitely survive this.

Inside the store, she picked out a bunch of junk food, and grabbed a couple of bottles of soda. She spotted the bottles of juice, which reminded her of the afternoon she and Owen had spent with Claudia and Marissa. The afternoon where, in her heart, she’d pretended they were a real family.

Longing stabbed her, stealing her breath. She missed those little girls so damn much. They’d been so sweet and wonderful, and it broke her heart that they were stuck with Yolanda and Jorge, getting lost in the shuffle of the rotating foster kids. If she was smart, she’d actually foster them herself. Maybe even adopt them.

She stopped dead in the aisle, the idea freezing her solid. It was ridiculous.

But was it, really? Why couldn’t she, though? At the very least, she could look into it.

She had no idea if it was even possible to foster children from a different state, but she was sure as hell looking in to it when she got home and had a steady internet connection. Stupid mountains meant she couldn’t use her phone for research during the rest of the trip.

Feeling lighter than she had in a long time, she paid for the snacks and hurried back to the SUV. Things were looking brighter. Not perfect, but better than they had a week ago. She had a semblance of a plan, and was determined to only look forward. There was nothing behind her but sadness and heartbreak, but now that her head was clearer and she was able to gain some perspective, she could see that moving forward was the only thing she could do.

And she was okay with that, no matter what happened with Owen. She would always love him, there was no doubt about that, but she also knew that, if she needed to, she could live without him.

She could live with that.

Isabella climbed out of the SUV and went around to grab her bag from the trunk. Antonio beat her to it, pulling out her bag and shooing her toward her house.

“I can carry my own bag, you know.” She rolled her eyes so hard, she was lucky she hadn’t sprained something.

“I know. I just wanted to help.” He followed her up the walk. “Besides, if Mami saw us, she’d box my ears.”

Isabella laughed. Mostly because it was true. Both their parents were very old-fashioned, often insisting on typical, outdated gender roles. She and Antonio has spent most of their lives trying to convince them the world had changed, but they wouldn’t have it. Finally, they’d given up trying to change their parent’s minds, and just mocked them behind their backs.

He put her bag on the porch and then leaned in to give her a hug. She squeezed him tight, pressing a kiss to his temple.

“Thank you. For everything.” And she meant it. If someone had told her that having a heart to heart with her goofy brother was going to lead to life-changing revelations, she would have laughed them all the way out of the state. She always saw him as her little brother, the kid with the runny nose who loved dinosaurs and always talked her into playing Lego with him. Who, when he got older, used to follow her around, much to her annoyance, asking dumb questions.

But he wasn’t that little boy anymore. Now he was a grown man with a family of his own. And apparently, full of a whole lot wisdom.

“You’re welcome.” He nudged her arm with his fist, nowhere near as hard as she deserved after whacking him earlier. “And if you need anything, or want to talk, you know where to find me.”

He walked back to the SUV and climbed inside. She waved, and he did in return, and then he pulled into the street and out of sight.

She grabbed her keys out of her purse and unlocked the door. When she pushed on it, it stuck a little. She gave it a good shove, and it finally opened.

There was a large manilla envelope on the floor in the foyer. It looked like someone had stuffed it under the door while she was away.

Her heart hammering against her ribs, she picked it up, grabbed her bag, and moved into the living room. She sat on the sofa, placing the envelope on the table in front of her. Her stomach was jumping around like one of those Mexican jumping beans that her tio Carlos used to give her and Antonio when he came to visit.

She sat there for a long time, staring at the envelope. It wasn’t like she didn’t know what was inside. She just hadn’t been expecting it. Although she didn’t know why she was so surprised. She’d made her feelings very clear back in Truckee, even if it had all been a lie.

Finally, she picked up the envelope and opened it. The divorce papers she pulled out were like a punch to the gut. She flipped through the pages, holding her breath. This wasn’t the first time she’d found the papers back at her house. Owen had often returned them when she wasn’t home, still refusing to sign them.

She flipped to the last page.

His signature was there, mocking her.

Something splashed on the paper, and it took her a minute to realize it was a tear. And now that they’d started, she couldn’t stop them.

She tossed the papers on the coffee table and curled up in a ball on the sofa. Crying about the fact he’d signed the papers, had officially decided they were done, the relationship was over, was pointless, considering she was the one who’d started this whole thing. The realization didn’t stop her from sobbing into a decorative pillow.

Even after the tears had dried up, she laid there, staring out the window across from her. So much for her moving forward, looking toward the future.

No, no. She sat up, wiped the wetness from her cheeks. Yes, the divorce hurt, but it was done now, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She could go to Owen, confess her sins, tell him how she felt, beg him to give her a second chance.

The idea took on a life of i’s own in her head, like a snowball rolling downhill. Yes, there was a possibility he would reject her, and it would hurt like a son of a bitch, but at least she’d know she’d done everything she could to try to make it work.

And if it didn’t, she still had the idea of fostering Claudia and Marissa to fall back on.

Feeling better, she pushed herself off the couch. She needed to take a shower, and stop by the diner. Make sure the place hadn’t burned down while she was gone. And then she would go and find Owen. Make him listen to her. Let the chips fall where they may, as Papi liked to say.