Page 97 of Something Like That

“Holy shit, Alex.” Janelle’s eyes were almost as wide as the ball she was balanced on.

“I know, right?” Heat pricked the back of her eyes, but she blinked hard. She’d cried enough over the last few days to float the ark. “And the worst part? I think he was going to ask me if I wanted to continue our relationship. You know, after he went back to New England.”

“But he didn’t get a chance to, and then everything happened—”

“I’ve screwed everything up.” Alex rubbed her gritty and swollen eyes. “I’ve tried to call him a couple of times, but I’ve chickened out at the last second. I don’t know what to say.”

“How about that you love him and you’re sorry you freaked out and could he please, please, please forgive you?”

She made it sound so easy. “I can’t say all that over the phone. That’s not the kind of conversation you even have over video chat.”

“Then go to San Francisco.”

She said it so matter-of-factly, Alex was speechless for a second. She couldn’t go to San Francisco. Could she? No, that was ridiculous.

“I can see from here that you’re already overthinking this and trying to convince yourself you can’t do it.” Janelle pursed her lips, giving Alex the why-are-you-doubting-me-because-I’m-always-right raised eyebrow she usually reserved for Malcolm.

“What if he doesn’t want to listen? Or worse, what if he does hear me out, and then he decides I’m not worth the trouble and says no anyway?” Alex’s voice was barely audible by the time she got to the end.

“Then you’ll come home and have a good cry, and I’ll help you through it and then you’ll get on with your life, knowing you did everything you could to try and make it work.” Janelle reached over and took her hand. “But if you don’t go, you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what would have happened, and that is far, far worse.”

Alex sighed again and buried her face in her hands. The hope and doubt swirling through her felt like it was going to tear her in two. She looked at her best friend. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

Janelle patted her arm. “And I’m telling you that you can. There’s nothing standing between you and happiness except fear. Are you going to let fear decide your future?”

She took a deep breath and let the words sink in. Janelle was right. She’d been so afraid of being hurt, she’d pushed him away before he could reject her. The way her parents had rejected her, the way Kevin had rejected her. And now she was using that same fear as a reason to not reach out to Nick. Tell him how she felt.

It was ridiculous. She was stronger than this. Nick had told her so. It was time she actually believed it.

She stood and picked up the ball, placing it back in its spot. Janelle did the same.

Alex turned and headed toward the door.

“Where are you going?” Janelle sounded giddy.

“To book a flight to San Francisco.”

Chapter Nineteen

Nick jumped over the boards for his next shift. They were tied at two, five minutes down in the third period. The blades on the ice, the sticks smacking against each other, the roar of the crowd all blended into the background, as he hurried into the offensive zone.

His position on the left wing kept him close to the boards. The puck was dumped into the corner, and he hustled in to dig it out. The opposing defenseman jumped in, ramming his stick in, trying to gain control. Nick shifted so his back was to the defenseman, blocking him. That got him a jab in the kidney for his trouble. He grunted. But he gained control of the puck and looked up. There was a jam in front of the net, but Cams was open on the blue line, so he passed to him.

Cams passed it to his partner, and Nick moved over in front of the net. The defenseman passed it back to Cams who then took a shot. Nick slammed his stick on the ice. The puck hit the blade and changed trajectory. The goalie wasn’t expecting it, and the puck slipped past him, through the space between his body and his arm.

The red light came on and the crown went wild. Nick’s teammates crowded around him, slapping him on the back and the helmet in celebration. He couldn’t wipe the stupid grin off his face. Ever since his talk with Ty last night, he’d felt different.

There was no longer a weight around his neck, anchoring him down. His feelings about the game and what it meant to him had somehow shifted. Playing professionally was a privilege. And freaking amazing. It had been a long time since he’d felt like this. It was refreshing. And freeing.

He could focus on the game and not worry about anything else. Especially here, where there were no expectations other than going out and playing your hardest.

“A goal and an assist.” Gary, the assistant coach placed his hand on Nick’s shoulder. “Not a bad come back, Sadler.”

Nick nodded and turned his focus back to the game. The play was tight, moving from end to end at a quick, almost frantic pace. He jumped over the boards for his next shift and headed into the defensive zone. The opposing team was working hard in the corners, controlling the play. Cams managed to gain control, and Nick smacked his blade on the ice to indicate he was open.

The puck hit the blade of his stick and he glanced up. He made it over the blue line, Shaney, his center man, was already streaking ahead. He passed the puck up to him, tape to tape. Shaney was in the clear on a breakaway. He deked once and then buried one top shelf.

Nick lifted his arms in celebration. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the blur of an opposing sweater barreling toward him. He tried to get out of the way, but it was too late. The guy hit him with a flying elbow. It was like getting hit by a fucking freight train.