Page 81 of The Christmas Highland Lodge

I lowered his hands from my face and squeezed them both in mine, entwining my fingers with his. ‘You don’t talk to me.’

‘Yes, I do. I’m talking to you now.’

‘Not in the same way I talk to you.’

Blake lowered his gaze to his hiking boots.

‘I feel like you have these secrets stored up inside of you that you’re afraid to let out. You keep me at arm’s length.’

This could be the moment for us. I silently implored Blake to say something, to confide in me, but he remained quiet.

‘Why won’t you let me in?’

Blake looked agonised.

I squeezed his fingers tighter. ‘Please, Blake. Why do you insist on shutting me out?’

I ran my fingers around and between his, savouring the grooves and his pronounced knuckles. ‘All I know about you is the briefest details.’ I gave both his hands a gentle, cajoling shake in mine.

Blake shifted in his boots. ‘What do you want to know?’

‘Anything. Everything.’ I let out a short laugh. ‘What were you like at school? Who was your first crush?’

His generous mouth glided into a shadow of a smile.

His reaction emboldened me and I decided to carry on. ‘What’s your favourite flavour of ice cream? What were you like as a kid?’

I blinked with shock as, all at once, Blake disengaged his hands from mine. It was as if he had just been struck with a poisoned arrow.

He took a couple of steps away from me.

My heart deflated. ‘Blake? What is it? What’s wrong?’

Something unreadable reared up in his eyes.

The wind whipped up the snow on the hedgerows around us.

‘I… I can’t do this, Lottie.’

It was like someone had punched me in the chest. ‘Can’t do what?’

Blake struggled to meet my gaze. A robin hopped in and around the trees, shaking the snow and sending it tumbling to the ground. ‘This.’ He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets. ‘I’ve never been any good at this sort of thing.’

‘This sort of thing?’ I repeated, embarrassed, stunned tears clustering at the backs of my eyes.

Blake whipped down his hood, tugged off his hat and dragged a frustrated hand through his thick, dark hair. ‘Relationships. Opening up. Whatever you want to call it.’ His mouth was grim.

I hugged myself, still adorned in his red fleece. I was a stupid, naïve woman! Why hadn’t I just kept a lid on my emotions? I should have locked them away and tried to forget they were there.

I had insisted I wouldn’t allow myself to be swept away with my feelings for Blake and that I could control everything. I must have been so foolish. What did I think? That if I ignored my growing feelings for Blake, they would evaporate and I could just carry on as normal? Now look what had happened. What had been my mantra? Oh yes. I would not get involved with someone else, risking my feelings being tossed aside again. It could end up a complicated, emotional mess. Well Lottie, guess what?!

Now it was my turn to take a couple of faltering steps backwards, the snow slipping and crunching under my boots.

‘Lottie.’

I shook my head so hard, I was in danger of dislodging my head from my shoulders. My loose, damp hair flapped against my cheeks. ‘No. Don’t. It’s fine.’

Blake’s eyes fluttered closed for a few seconds. He rubbed at his damp beard. ‘You don’t understand. It’s complicated. It’s not you.’